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Joke Types
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and the end is near!
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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because the end was two-tired of waiting!
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Why did the golfer bring extra socks to the apocalypse? In case there's a hole in one world and a spare.
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Why did the pessimist start a countdown? Because he wanted to make every moment feel like the end is near!
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Why did the mathematician say the world is ending? Because his calculations were apocalyptic!
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Why did the chicken join a doomsday cult? It heard the end is eggstremely near!
Apocalyptic Tinder
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They say the end is near. Suddenly, dating has taken a strange turn. Now, on Tinder, instead of looking for a long-term relationship, it's more like looking for someone to survive the zombie apocalypse with. I mean, who needs compatibility when you can have someone who's great at zombie slaying?
Apocalyptic GPS
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The end is near, and I can already see the struggle with navigation in the apocalypse. In 500 feet, turn left to avoid radioactive wasteland. If you reach the zombie horde, you've gone too far. I can't wait for the day when my GPS says, You have arrived at your destination: the last habitable spot on Earth.
Fashion Forward to the Apocalypse
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Apparently, the end is near. You know what that means? It's time to update our wardrobe for the apocalypse. Forget about high heels; it's all about sturdy, yet stylish, post-apocalyptic boots. I can see the fashion shows now: Radiation-chic and Mutant Madness collections strutting down the runway. Who knew doomsday could be so fabulous?
End-of-the-World Procrastination
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So, I got a memo saying the end is near. Of course, my first thought was, Well, I guess I can finally stop procrastinating. But then I realized, even with impending doom, I'd probably find a way to put it off until the last minute. I'll face the apocalypse tomorrow, I'd say, as I binge-watch cat videos.
Post-Apocalyptic Social Media
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They say the end is near. Brace yourselves for a new kind of social media influencer—the post-apocalyptic lifestyle guru. Picture this: Day 253 without Wi-Fi: My top tips for foraging in the wasteland. Swipe left for a discount code on mutant-resistant sunglasses.
Zombie Therapy
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With the end near, I'm thinking there's a new market for therapists specializing in zombie-induced trauma. Imagine lying on a couch, pouring your heart out about the time you had to outrun a horde of the undead just to make it to the grocery store. Tell me more about your feelings when the world turned into a real-life episode of 'The Walking Dead.'
No More Monday Blues
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They say the end is near. Well, at least we won't have to worry about Monday mornings anymore. Imagine the freedom of never setting an alarm clock again because, let's face it, the apocalypse has its own schedule. No more early meetings, just late-night monster battles and daytime scavenger hunts for canned goods.
Survival of the Wittiest
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The end is near, and I'm thinking survival of the fittest is outdated. It's more like survival of the wittiest now. I imagine the post-apocalyptic world will be a stand-up comedy battle for supremacy. Forget weapons; the last two humans standing will be determined by who can deliver the funniest punchline while outrunning zombies.
Apocalypse Diet
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So, I heard the end is near. I guess that explains the sudden popularity of apocalyptic diets. Forget counting calories; now we're counting how many cans of beans we can stockpile in our doomsday bunker. I'm just saying, I hope kale is still in season when the world ends, or we're all in for a rude awakening.
The Final Countdown
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So, the end is near. I guess we should start a countdown, but who's keeping track? Are we going with a classic doomsday clock or a more casual Days Left Until Everything Goes Kaboom app? Because, you know, if we're going out, we might as well do it with a little flair and a catchy soundtrack.
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