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Optimistic Alien Visitor
Misinterpreting human panic about the end
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This alien is so positive that he thinks the impending apocalypse is just a big surprise party. He keeps saying, "You humans are so dramatic; I bet you've planned this for centuries. Where's the cake?
Conspiracy Theorist on Social Media
Interpreting every event as a sign of the imminent end
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My conspiracy theorist friend believes that the end is near because the grocery store ran out of his favorite cereal. Apparently, when Crunchy Oats disappear, it's a surefire sign of the apocalypse. I wonder what he'd think if I told him it's just a supply chain issue.
A Time-Traveling Historian
Confused by contemporary signs of an impending end
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According to the time-traveling historian, the end is near because people take pictures of their food. He said, "In my time, we only photographed things that were actually important, like our pet holographic cats.
A Laid-back Doomsday Predictor
Predicting the end but taking it in stride
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This laid-back doomsday predictor invited me to his "End of the World" party. He said, "Bring snacks and your favorite playlist. Who knows, maybe the apocalypse will have a killer soundtrack.
Survivalist Neighbor
Believing the end is near and preparing for it
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I told my survivalist neighbor that I'm into "minimalist living." He scoffed and said he's into "apocalypse maximalism." His idea of a cozy living room includes a wall of gas masks and a coffee table made from repurposed riot shields.
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