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Trying to assemble IKEA furniture is like a glimpse into the apocalypse. The instruction manual might as well say, "The end is near – good luck, mortal!
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The end is near" - my ghostwriter's way of telling me my Netflix subscription is about to expire. I mean, how else do you explain the impending doom when you can't binge-watch your favorite shows anymore?
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You ever look at your alarm clock on a Monday morning and think, "The end is near"? I swear, the only thing saving humanity on Mondays is the invention of the snooze button.
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The end is near" – said every parent when their toddler discovers the art of finger painting. Suddenly, your living room looks like a modern masterpiece, and you're contemplating the end of your sanity.
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When the GPS says, "You've reached your destination," but all you see is an empty field, you start questioning your life choices. It's like the end is near, and you've arrived at the apocalypse's VIP parking lot.
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Have you ever been in a meeting that feels like the end is near? You're just sitting there, nodding along, thinking, "If this doesn't wrap up soon, I might stage my own personal apocalypse and escape through the emergency exit.
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You ever notice how every year, someone predicts that the end is near? I mean, I can't even predict what I'm having for lunch tomorrow. The only thing I can accurately predict is that I'll probably regret it!
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Ever go grocery shopping and realize you forgot your reusable bags? That's when you know the end is near – plastic bags are like the four horsemen of the environmental apocalypse, and they're charging right at you!
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You ever reach the bottom of a bag of chips and think, "Well, that's it. The end is near." It's like a mini-apocalypse for your snack cravings.
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