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The Emo Tech Support
Trying to fix people's tech issues while secretly contemplating the futility of life
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Someone once asked me to help them recover some lost files. I recovered the files, but I couldn't recover their lost sense of purpose. It's the "Data Recovery, Soul Not Included" package.
The Emo Zookeeper
Trying to make the zoo animals appreciate the beauty of melancholy without scaring the visitors
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I attempted to organize an animal poetry night, but the only one who showed up was the sloth, and it read its poem so slowly that by the time it finished, everyone had left. It's the "Snail's Pace of Emo Expression.
The Misunderstood Emo Barber
Trying to give everyone the perfect cut but ending up with a haircut that matches their emotional turmoil
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One lady came in, and she said, "I want something that says, 'I'm mysterious.'" So, I gave her a haircut that's so mysterious, even I don't know what I did. It's the "Lost in Translation" cut.
The Emo Chef
Trying to create dishes that capture the essence of despair without making customers actually depressed
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I tried making a dessert that mirrors the ups and downs of life. It's called "The Rollercoaster of Emotions Cake." It starts sweet, then takes you on a journey through layers of bitterness, regret, and a sprinkle of hope on top.
The Emo Astronaut
Trying to express cosmic sorrow in zero gravity without making fellow astronauts worry about your mental state
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One time, I tried playing an emo song on my guitar in the International Space Station. But without gravity, my tears just floated away. It's the "Tears in Space: The Zero-G Ballad.
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