4 Jokes For Stewardess

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 04 2025

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Let's address the elephant in the cabin— the term "mile-high club." Do people still aspire to join that exclusive group? I mean, it sounds glamorous, but realistically, the bathrooms are so small you can barely turn around without hitting your elbow on the toilet. It's like trying to have a romantic encounter in a game of Twister.
And let's not forget, if you're caught, the whole plane knows what's going on. The intercom announcement practically writes itself: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have two passengers in the lavatory attempting to defy gravity. Please refrain from applause until they safely exit.
You know, being a stewardess has got to be a tough job. I mean, they're like the air traffic controllers of the cabin. They're responsible for our safety, they serve us food, they make sure we're comfortable, and, let's not forget, they're the referees of the reclining seat wars. It's a multitasking marvel.
I always wonder if they have secret meetings where they share tips on dealing with passengers. "When faced with a screaming toddler, just hand them a bag of peanuts and smile. Works like a charm." Or, "If someone asks for an extra blanket, give them two. It's like airline diplomacy."
And can we talk about the safety demonstrations? They're up there miming how to put on a life jacket while we're all thinking, "Yeah, but will it match my outfit?
You ever notice how the term "stewardess" sounds like a job from the '60s? I mean, do we still call them that? It's like the airlines are stuck in a time warp. I half-expect my stewardess to greet me with, "Good evening, sir! Would you like a cigarette and a gin martini?"
And what's the deal with the word itself? Stewardess. It's a combination of "steward" and "-ess." So, is she a steward or a lady? Make up your mind! It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted someone to manage the flight or host a tea party at 30,000 feet.
I can imagine the interview process: "Are you good at keeping track of the emergency exits? Great. Can you also make a perfect cup of Earl Grey? Fantastic, you're hired!
Have you ever noticed the challenges of understanding flight announcements? The pilot comes on the intercom, mumbles something about turbulence, and suddenly we're all trying to decipher whether we should be scared or just buckle up tighter.
And let's talk about those code words they use. "We're expecting a little choppy air." Choppy air? Is that aviation speak for a rollercoaster ride? I want my pilot to be like, "Folks, we're hitting some turbulence. It's normal. It's like driving over potholes, but with wings. So, keep your seatbelts on and enjoy the airborne pothole experience.

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