53 Jokes For Stewardess

Updated on: Jul 04 2025

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Introduction:
Meet Gary, the mischievous flight attendant with a penchant for pranks. This time, he decided to have some fun with his colleagues by hiding snacks throughout the plane. Linda, the unsuspecting stewardess, was determined to catch the snack thief on board.
Main Event:
Throughout the flight, Linda noticed snacks disappearing mysteriously. She interrogated passengers, frisked crew members, and even searched the overhead bins. In the chaos, Gary maintained a poker face. As the plane landed, Linda, exasperated, confronted Gary, accusing him of snack thievery. Gary, with a sly grin, led her to a secret stash hidden in the cockpit, revealing that he was the snack Santa all along.
Conclusion:
As passengers disembarked, Gary announced over the intercom, "Attention, ladies and gentlemen. We've solved the case of the vanishing snacks. Turns out, our very own Nancy Drew here, Linda, was the snack sleuth. In appreciation for her detective skills, everyone gets an extra bag of peanuts! Case closed!"
Introduction:
On a particularly bumpy flight, Betty, a seasoned stewardess, found herself juggling not just trays of food but also the challenge of serving hot tea during turbulence. Her co-worker, Joe, the nervous new flight attendant, observed from the sidelines, wide-eyed and gripping a carton of milk like a lifebuoy.
Main Event:
As the plane rattled, Betty attempted to pour hot tea into passenger cups. With each sway, the tea splashed in unpredictable patterns. Joe, misinterpreting the turbulence as an invitation to dance, tried to mimic a ballet move to avoid the splashes but ended up doing a comical spin, knocking the carton of milk into the lap of a surprised passenger. The cabin erupted in laughter as Joe sheepishly apologized, "I thought it was a tea-party twirl!"
Conclusion:
Betty, with a dry wit, handed the milk-soaked passenger a towel saying, "Our apologies for the turbulence-induced milk bath, compliments of our in-flight milkmaid. On the bright side, we've just launched our newest spa experience - 'Moo-turbulence Relaxation.' Enjoy the flight!"
Introduction:
Samantha, a bubbly flight attendant, decided to spice up a long-haul flight by introducing "Pillow Pet Parade," where passengers transformed their travel pillows into makeshift pets. Little did she know, this innocent game would take a hilarious turn.
Main Event:
As passengers crafted imaginative pillow pets, the cabin transformed into a zoo of fluff and creativity. However, chaos ensued when a passenger accidentally released their pillow pet—a bouncy, round pillow with googly eyes. It rolled down the aisle, creating a slapstick comedy of passengers ducking and dodging the rogue pillow. Samantha, trying to wrangle the runaway "pet," added to the amusement by mimicking a rodeo clown, attempting daring leaps to catch it.
Conclusion:
Amidst the laughter, Samantha, red-faced but grinning, declared, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've witnessed the first-ever Pillow Pet Grand Prix! Our winner, the acrobatic pillow, will be awarded a seat in the cockpit. Thank you for participating in our high-flying pillow pal extravaganza. Keep those seatbelts fastened and your pillows under control!"
Introduction:
A flight crew, including the ever-charismatic Captain Roberts and the vibrant stewardess, Emily, found themselves in a peculiar situation when a passenger insisted on bringing an oversized suitcase into the cabin.
Main Event:
Captain Roberts, using his dry wit, announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our impromptu game of Luggage Limbo. Today's contestant, seated in row 12, believes their suitcase is the Houdini of hand luggage." Emily, armed with a measuring tape, attempted to fit the suitcase into the overhead bin like a game show host. Passengers chuckled as Emily and the suitcase engaged in a limbo dance, with each attempt becoming more absurd.
Conclusion:
After a few laughs and cheers from the passengers, Captain Roberts concluded, "In the spirit of flexibility, we've upgraded the luggage to first class. It'll be enjoying the extra legroom while you enjoy your flight. Thank you for playing Luggage Limbo with us!"
Let's address the elephant in the cabin— the term "mile-high club." Do people still aspire to join that exclusive group? I mean, it sounds glamorous, but realistically, the bathrooms are so small you can barely turn around without hitting your elbow on the toilet. It's like trying to have a romantic encounter in a game of Twister.
And let's not forget, if you're caught, the whole plane knows what's going on. The intercom announcement practically writes itself: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have two passengers in the lavatory attempting to defy gravity. Please refrain from applause until they safely exit.
You know, being a stewardess has got to be a tough job. I mean, they're like the air traffic controllers of the cabin. They're responsible for our safety, they serve us food, they make sure we're comfortable, and, let's not forget, they're the referees of the reclining seat wars. It's a multitasking marvel.
I always wonder if they have secret meetings where they share tips on dealing with passengers. "When faced with a screaming toddler, just hand them a bag of peanuts and smile. Works like a charm." Or, "If someone asks for an extra blanket, give them two. It's like airline diplomacy."
And can we talk about the safety demonstrations? They're up there miming how to put on a life jacket while we're all thinking, "Yeah, but will it match my outfit?
You ever notice how the term "stewardess" sounds like a job from the '60s? I mean, do we still call them that? It's like the airlines are stuck in a time warp. I half-expect my stewardess to greet me with, "Good evening, sir! Would you like a cigarette and a gin martini?"
And what's the deal with the word itself? Stewardess. It's a combination of "steward" and "-ess." So, is she a steward or a lady? Make up your mind! It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted someone to manage the flight or host a tea party at 30,000 feet.
I can imagine the interview process: "Are you good at keeping track of the emergency exits? Great. Can you also make a perfect cup of Earl Grey? Fantastic, you're hired!
Have you ever noticed the challenges of understanding flight announcements? The pilot comes on the intercom, mumbles something about turbulence, and suddenly we're all trying to decipher whether we should be scared or just buckle up tighter.
And let's talk about those code words they use. "We're expecting a little choppy air." Choppy air? Is that aviation speak for a rollercoaster ride? I want my pilot to be like, "Folks, we're hitting some turbulence. It's normal. It's like driving over potholes, but with wings. So, keep your seatbelts on and enjoy the airborne pothole experience.
Why did the stewardess bring a pencil on the plane? To draw the curtains!
I asked the stewardess if she believed in love at first flight. She said, 'Only if it's in first class!
I told the stewardess I wanted my meal cooked medium rare. She gave me a steak with a sunburn!
Why did the stewardess become a gardener? She wanted to help the plane-t grow!
What did the stewardess say to the tomato on the plane? 'Catch up, we're taking off!
What did the stewardess say to the cloud on the plane? 'You're just a little fluffy turbulence!
I asked the stewardess if the plane had a gym. She said, 'Yes, it's called the sky – aerobics at 30,000 feet!
The stewardess told me to fasten my seatbelt. I told her I was more of a slowen-my-seatbelt kind of person!
What did the stewardess say to the sneezing passenger? 'Cover your nose for takeoff – we don't want a nose dive!
What did the stewardess say to the unruly passenger? 'You're flying off the handle!
I asked the stewardess if the flight had Wi-Fi. She said, 'Why-Fi when you can Hi-Fi at 30,000 feet!
Why did the stewardess break up with the airplane? It just couldn't handle her baggage!
What did the stewardess say to the banana on the plane? 'You're a-peeling at high altitudes!
Why did the stewardess become a detective? She wanted to solve the case of the missing peanuts!
Why did the stewardess bring a ladder on the plane? She heard it had a high altitude!
The stewardess asked if I needed help with my seat. I said, 'No, I'm good at sitting. It's my specialty!
I asked the stewardess if this flight was going to be bumpy. She said, 'I hope not, I just did my hair!
The stewardess asked if I wanted coffee. I said, 'Depresso, not Espresso!
Why did the stewardess bring a suitcase full of spices on the plane? She wanted to add some flavor to the journey!
Why did the stewardess start a band? She heard it was a great way to take flight!

The Armrest Warrior

The battle for control over the armrest.
I accidentally elbowed the person next to me while reaching for the armrest. They looked at me like I committed a crime. I didn't know armrests had a posse.

The Clueless Passenger

Trying to navigate the mysterious world of the airplane seatbelt.
The seatbelt sign is on, but I can't figure out how to buckle up. The person next to me is looking at me like I'm auditioning for a role in "Airplane: The Musical.

The Overly Cautious Traveler

Being overly concerned about the airplane's safety measures.
I saw the stewardess practicing with the life vest. She looked like she was auditioning for a role in a fashion show, not teaching us how to survive a water landing. I'm expecting a runway walk next.

The Window Seat Dreamer

Getting lost in the view but being interrupted by fellow passengers.
The flight attendant asked me to close the window for landing. I felt like I was the villain in a superhero movie, blocking out the light and casting darkness upon the world.

The Food Critic at 30,000 Feet

Trying to make sense of airplane food.
I had the vegetarian option once. It was like a salad from a parallel universe where flavor is just a myth. I thought I was eating the in-flight entertainment menu.

Up in the Air, Down to Earth

It's always impressive when a stewardess can maintain her poise while walking down the aisle, dodging elbows, and still manage to serve coffee without turning it into a Jackson Pollock painting.

Emergency Exit? More Like Plan B

Ever wonder why they call it the stewardess? Probably because aerial drink server was taken. Or maybe it's because they're the real-life unsung heroes of inflight turbulence.

Turbulence Tales

You know, when I see a stewardess during turbulence, I can't help but think they're secretly auditioning for the next Spider-Man reboot. The way they navigate through that shaking cabin is pure superhero material.

Skyward Salutations

You ever notice how a stewardess greets you with a smile as if you're entering a luxury spa, even though you're just getting onto a flying metal tube where you'll be crammed for hours?

In-flight Drama Queen

Ever notice how a stewardess can make a packet of peanuts sound like a five-star dining experience? Today, we're serving a gourmet blend of salted nuts, paired perfectly with recycled air.

Navigating the High Seas

I feel like a stewardess on a plane is like a lifeguard at a water park. Both have the same level of control, which is essentially pointing you to where you already know you're supposed to go.

In-flight Etiquette 101

The next time a stewardess asks me to put my tray table up, I'm going to respond with, Only if you promise to fold my laundry when we land.

The Overly Friendly Skies

You know, I always thought the job title stewardess was a bit too fancy. It sounds like a job that should come with a cape and the power to calm down screaming babies with just a look.

Jet-Setting Java

It's funny how a stewardess can serve coffee on a moving plane with grace, but if I tried to serve coffee in my car, it would end up on my dashboard, my lap, and the backseat simultaneously.

Flying Fashionista

I have to give it to the stewardess; they make those tight uniforms work. If I wore something that snug all day, I'd look like a deflated balloon animal by the end of the flight!
Stewardesses have this incredible talent for making those tiny airplane snacks seem like they're the most gourmet thing you've ever tasted. "Would you like the chicken or the pasta?" It's like being at a fancy restaurant, except I'm in a cramped seat and struggling with a plastic fork.
You ever notice how, no matter how early your flight is, the stewardesses are always wide awake, ready to serve you coffee with a smile? Meanwhile, I'm stumbling onto the plane in my pajamas, praying the coffee maker at home is still functioning.
Have you ever tried to gracefully exit the restroom on a plane without touching anything? It's like playing an intense game of airplane Twister, trying not to make contact with anything. I swear, I've perfected the art of opening doors with my elbows.
Stewardesses have mastered the art of speaking in code. When they say, "We'll be experiencing some slight turbulence," what they really mean is, "Hold on to your peanuts; we're about to turn this plane into a rollercoaster.
I always find it amusing when the stewardess says, "In the unlikely event of a water landing..." Like, if we crash into the ocean, the last thing I'm worried about is the flotation device. I'm more concerned with finding Nemo and a way back to dry land.
You ever notice how the beverage cart on a plane turns the cabin into a mini black-market economy? People start trading pretzels for cookies like it's a high-stakes negotiation. "I'll give you two peanuts for that chocolate bar.
I asked a stewardess once if turbulence is normal, and she said, "Oh, absolutely! It's just Mother Nature's way of giving us a gentle reminder that we're essentially in a metal tube 30,000 feet above the ground." Well, thanks for the gentle reminder, Mother Nature. I'll stick to ground level, where my snacks don't spill.
Stewardesses must have a secret manual on how to maintain a pleasant expression, even when someone asks the same question for the hundredth time. "Excuse me, is this the bathroom?" No, sir, it's the portal to Narnia. Of course, it's the bathroom!
Ever notice how the term "stewardess" sounds like a job title from the 1950s? I half expect them to serve me coffee in a poodle skirt and then break into a rendition of "Fly Me to the Moon.
You know, I was on a flight the other day, and I noticed the stewardess had this incredible ability to remain calm and collected, even in the face of chaos. I can't even keep my cool when I run out of milk for my cereal.

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