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Why did Voldemort become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a nose for humor!
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Why did Voldemort start a gardening club? He had a knack for making things wither and die!
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How does Voldemort like his coffee? Dark and with a touch of the forbidden!
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What's Voldemort's favorite board game? Guess Who – the Horcrux Edition!
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I was thinking of getting a pet snake until I heard Voldemort's story. I mean, having a snake as a pet is cool, but having a snake as a life coach? That's just asking for trouble. 'Slytherin' into existential crises, one parseltongue conversation at a time.
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You know you're in trouble when even your nose abandons you. I mean, Voldemort's rocking the 'no-nose' look, and I can't decide if he's trying to be avant-garde or just took social distancing to a whole new level.
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Voldemort's like the ultimate bad hair day - you can't even talk about him without shivers running down your spine. It's like, 'Honey, I thought my messy bun was a disaster, but have you heard about the guy with no nose?'
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I heard Voldemort is really into dark magic, but can we talk about how dark his fashion choices are? I mean, a cape and no nose? Someone needs a makeover. Maybe that's why he's so angry all the time - no one invited him to Hogwarts Fashion Week.
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Voldemort's like the ex who just won't let go. He's been defeated more times than my Wi-Fi connection, and yet he keeps coming back. Someone should tell him there's a fine line between persistence and just being annoying.
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Voldemort's biggest fear is love, right? I guess someone forgot to tell him it's not a Horcrux. 'Avada Kedavra' may be unforgivable, but not as unforgivable as wearing a snake as a fashion accessory. I mean, what's next, basilisk boots?
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You know you're a villain when even your name sounds like bad news. 'Voldemort' - it's like the 'Volvo' of the dark arts. Not exactly striking fear into the hearts of wizards and muggles alike.
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Voldemort really needs a hobby. I mean, most people take up knitting or gardening, but no, he's over there splitting his soul into pieces. Maybe if he had picked up a crossword puzzle instead, he wouldn't be so cranky all the time.
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Voldemort tried to conquer the wizarding world, but let's be real, he couldn't even conquer his fear of a teenage wizard with glasses. Maybe he should've invested in some magic contact lenses for better aim.
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