5 Jokes For Voldemort

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jan 28 2025

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Voldemort's Horcrux Support Group

When your soul is divided into seven pieces, therapy is a must.
Voldemort's diary Horcrux always complains, 'I had a whole book to myself, and all I got was teenage angst. It's like being stuck in a literary version of a midlife crisis.'

Voldemort's Speech Therapist

Teaching someone with a snake-like voice to speak normally.
I bet Voldemort's speech therapist has nightmares. 'Avada Kedavra' is easier to say than 'please pass the salt.' Can you imagine him ordering at a restaurant? 'I'll have the Avada Kedavra... I mean, the lasagna.'

Voldemort's Makeup Artist

Making the Dark Lord look fabulous.
I bet Voldemort's makeup artist has a tough job. 'Can we go for a softer look today?' 'Sure, but just to be clear, softer in the magical sense, right? We're not aiming for Hufflepuff vibes here.'

Voldemort's Dating Woes

Trying to find love when you're the Dark Lord.
Voldemort's ideal date? A candlelit dinner, soft music, and a little dark magic. Because nothing says romance like a well-cast Imperius Curse.

Voldemort's Nose

Voldemort doesn't have a nose, and everyone notices.
Voldemort's nose is like a Dementor magnet. It heard the news about Voldemort and decided, 'You know what, I'm outta here. I'll catch the next face that smells better.'

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