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They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried a kale smoothie? I mean, sure, it doesn't make you laugh, but at least it makes you appreciate the joy of a good burger afterward.
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I recently tried a superfood that's supposed to boost your energy. After eating it, I felt so energized that I cleaned my entire apartment. Note to self: next time, stick to coffee.
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I went to a health food store and asked the cashier where they keep the guilty pleasures. She pointed to the kale chips and said, "Right here, living life on the edge.
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I tried a new health food recipe that claimed to be easy. The ingredient list said, "Just gather items from five different continents." I thought, "Sure, let me just hop on my private jet real quick.
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I've started reading the labels on health food products, and they're like mystery novels. "Unsweetened almond milk – the thrilling tale of water and crushed almonds, with a surprising plot twist of zero added sugar.
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The other day, I made a salad for lunch. As I was chopping veggies, I thought, "This is the only meal where I have to wrestle with my food before I eat it. Lettuce, cucumber, and I go three rounds in the salad bowl!
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I overheard someone say, "Eating healthy is so expensive." I can relate. I mean, have you seen the price of organic avocados? It's like they're charging extra for the privilege of pretending to be fancy while making avocado toast.
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I tried a new health food restaurant the other day. They had a dish called "Guilt-Free Guacamole." I thought, "Finally, a guacamole that won't judge me for eating the entire bowl in one sitting!
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild Friday night is debating whether to have quinoa or kale with dinner. It's like, "Should I go for the ancient grain or the leafy green? Ah, the thrilling decisions of adulthood!
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