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You ever notice how expiration dates on food are like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, we're not gonna stop you from eating that, but good luck"?
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You know you're an adult when you've become a fearless warrior, bravely tasting milk one day after its expiration date. It's a high-stakes battle of the taste buds.
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Expiration dates on gym memberships are just the universe's way of saying, "Well, you gave it a good try. Now, back to the couch, my friend.
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Expiration dates are like the fortune tellers of the grocery store. "I see... stomach discomfort in your future!
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Expiration dates on beauty products are the cruel reminders that even your makeup has an expiration date, unlike that old sweater you've been wearing since college. Sweaters are forever.
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I love how expiration dates on credit cards are a subtle way of saying, "Hey, it's time for a new you! And by you, I mean card.
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I always find it fascinating how expiration dates on yogurt are a lot like relationships – you don't notice them at first, but when you do, it's usually too late.
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Expiration dates on condiments are just suggestions, right? I mean, ketchup is basically immortal. It's the Highlander of the fridge.
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Has anyone ever successfully finished a container of sour cream before it hits its expiration date? It's like a culinary game of beat the clock, and the clock is usually winning.
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