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I bought a bag of chips yesterday. Turns out, they expired today. They went from potato to po-ta-no real quick.
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Why did the coupon go to therapy? It had issues with expiration commitment.
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Why did the credit card break up with the wallet? It said, 'Our relationship has expired.
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and realized its expiration date was near!
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I told my friend a time-traveling joke. It hasn't expired yet, but it will in the past.
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I told my friend a joke about doors, but it didn't land. I guess humor is an open-and-shut case.
Expiration Anxiety
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You ever notice how everything in life comes with an expiration date? I bought a carton of milk the other day, and it said expires. I thought, well, that's just great—now I have commitment issues with my dairy.
My Gym Membership's Expiration Drama
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I signed up for a gym membership, and the paperwork had a section that said expires. I thought I was committing to getting fit, not entering a relationship with a treadmill. Now every time I skip the gym, I feel like I'm cheating on my StairMaster.
The Betrayal of Expired Batteries
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Batteries are sneaky little traitors. They're all cheerful when you buy them, but then you check and see expires. Really? I thought you were supposed to keep going and going, not pull a Houdini on me. Now I have trust issues with my TV remote.
I Don't Need That Kind of Pressure, Toothpaste!
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I was brushing my teeth, and the toothpaste had the nerve to say expires. I mean, I'm just trying to maintain good oral hygiene, and now my toothpaste is giving me an ultimatum. Next thing you know, my floss will be scheduling an intervention.
The Drama of Expired Coupons
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I found a coupon in my wallet that said expires. Coupons are like the divas of savings. They demand attention, have a limited engagement, and if you don't use them in time, they throw a tantrum and become useless.
Relationships and Cartons of Eggs
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Dating is like buying a carton of eggs; both come with expiration dates. Imagine introducing your date to your parents, and they ask, So, when does this relationship expire? It's like, Mom, Dad, can we at least finish dessert first?
Expiration Dates: The Ultimate Deadline
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I saw expires on a can of beans recently. Really? Even my beans have deadlines now? I'm just waiting for a day when my toaster looks at me and says, You have until next Tuesday to enjoy toast. After that, I'm outta here.
Expiration Dates and Existential Crisis
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I looked at my yogurt, and it said expires. It got me thinking, even my yogurt has a clearer purpose in life than I do. It's got a plan, a destiny. Meanwhile, I'm here contemplating the meaning of existence while my yogurt is out there fulfilling its dairy destiny.
The Mystery of Leftover Chinese Food
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Leftover Chinese food is like a game of roulette. You open the fridge, see a container, and it says expires. Is it the sweet and sour chicken, or is it the Kung Pao surprise? You take a bite and hope it's not a game of gastrointestinal Russian roulette.
My Credit Card Has Commitment Issues
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I checked my credit card statement, and it said expires. I didn't know my credit card had a lifespan. Now I'm just waiting for it to send me a birthday card saying, Congratulations! You've reached your credit limit and your card's expiration date.
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