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You know, getting a blood draw is like playing a game of hide and seek with your veins. The nurse is there with the needle, and your veins are like, "Oh no, you're not finding me that easily!
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Blood draws always make me feel like I'm part of a vampire recruitment program. "Congratulations, you've passed the initiation. Now, on full moons, you might feel a slight craving for rare steaks.
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Getting blood drawn is the only time in life when you willingly let someone take a part of you without expecting a birthday present in return. "Happy birthday, here's a vial of my O-negative, hope you like it!
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The hardest part of a blood draw is trying to act cool when they tell you to make a fist. "Sure, just casually clenching my fist here, like I'm preparing for a mini arm-wrestling match with the needle.
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I think the person who invented the tourniquet for blood draws also invented the world's weirdest fashion accessory. "Oh, is that the new spring collection? It's called 'Constricted Chic.'
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Having a blood draw is like participating in a tiny, medical heist. The nurse sneaks in, takes a sample, and you're left wondering if your blood is now part of some secret government experiment.
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You ever notice how they always try to distract you during a blood draw? "Just look away, it'll be over soon." Sure, like I'm going to be distracted by a generic landscape painting on the wall while I feel like a human juice box.
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I recently had a blood draw, and the nurse asked me if I was scared of needles. I said, "No, I'm just terrified of my blood playing hard to get. It's like trying to catch a mosquito in the dark!
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I was at the lab for a blood draw, and the nurse said, "This won't hurt a bit." If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that, I could probably afford a lifetime supply of band-aids.
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