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Joke Types
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I heard getting a blood draw is like winning an award. You get a 'vein' certificate!
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Why did the blood draw refuse to talk to anyone? It didn't want to spill its 'vein' secrets!
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Why did the blood draw go to school? To 'vein' knowledge about our body!
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Why was the vampire excellent at getting blood drawn? He had a 'fang-tastic' tolerance for needles!
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Why did the vampire avoid getting a blood draw? He didn't want to face his 'vein' fears!
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Why did the blood draw cross the road? To get to the 'artery' on the other side!
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Why was the blood draw a hit at the party? It had everyone 'transfused' in its charm!
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Why did Dracula become a phlebotomist? He heard it was a 'bloody' good profession!
The Mystery of the Missing Veins
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I went for a blood draw, and the nurse couldn't find my vein. It's like my veins were playing hide-and-seek. I'm sitting there thinking, Come on, guys, it's not the time to be camera shy. We're not shooting a vampire movie!
Vein Whisperer
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There are nurses who are like vein whisperers—they can spot a vein from across the room. Meanwhile, others are like vein ninjas, playing hide-and-seek. I'm convinced there's a secret society of veins teaching each other evasion tactics.
Vampire Halloween Costume
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I thought about going to a blood draw in a vampire Halloween costume just to mess with the nurses. Oh, don't worry, it's just cranberry juice. I'm method acting for my Dracula role later tonight!
The Vampire Nurse
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You ever been to a blood draw? It's like going to a vampire nurse's buffet. They're all polite, saying, Can we have just a little sip? Yeah, right! I'm expecting Dracula to show up in scrubs any minute.
Vein Navigation System
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They need to invent a GPS for veins. The nurse spends more time searching for my vein than I spend looking for parking. I can almost hear Siri saying, In 100 feet, you will reach your vein. Please prepare for needle insertion.
Vampire Yelp Reviews
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I imagine if vampires wrote Yelp reviews, blood draw clinics would get five stars. Excellent service, great selection, very vein-friendly atmosphere. Would recommend to fellow bloodsuckers.
Nurse vs. Mosquito
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Blood draws are like a battle between a nurse and a mosquito. The mosquito leaves an itchy bump; the nurse leaves you with a band-aid and a sticker. I don't know, I think I'd prefer the sticker.
Needle Olympics
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Blood draws should be an Olympic sport. The precision those nurses have with that needle is incredible. I'm over here thinking, Are they aiming for a gold medal in vascular gymnastics? Stick the landing, doc!
Needle Phobia Solutions
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I've got a friend who's terrified of needles. He said he found a solution: closing his eyes. I told him, Yeah, that works until the nurse asks you to roll up your sleeve. You can't close your eyes forever, buddy!
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