17 Jokes For A Taxidermist

Puns

Updated on: Apr 25 2025

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What's a taxidermist's favorite social media platform? LinkedIn – where they can showcase their professional 'mount'-ing achievements!
Why did the taxidermist go broke? Because he couldn't make enough cents out of his animals!
I told the taxidermist I wanted a deer head on my wall. He said, 'That's a bucking good idea!
What did the taxidermist say to the procrastinator? 'You really need to get a stuffed schedule!
I told the taxidermist I wanted a lion on my wall. He said, 'Sorry, it's not in my mane priorities.
What's a taxidermist's favorite music genre? Heavy metal – it really brings out the wildlife!
Why did the taxidermist start a band? He wanted to bring some 'dead' beats to the music scene!

Pet Resurrection Plan

My friend asked a taxidermist if he could bring his pet back to life. The taxidermist said, I'm good, but I'm not a miracle worker. I can make it look like it's alive, but if it starts fetching, it's just a coincidence!

Animal Selfie Studio

I heard about this taxidermist who's so good at his job, he turned his place into an animal selfie studio. You know, instead of saying cheese, they say, Stay still, you'll be immortalized forever – and no blinking, please!

Taxidermist Tinder Profile

I found a taxidermist on a dating app. His profile says, I'm great with my hands, and I promise not to stuff our relationship. Well, at least he's honest about his work, right?

Extreme Hide-and-Seek

Ever play hide-and-seek with a taxidermist? It's intense. You think you found him, but it's just a lifelike raccoon. Then you realize he's standing behind you, holding a deer. Game over!

Petting Zoo of the Future

I heard this taxidermist has a plan for the future – a petting zoo where all the animals are stuffed. I guess it's a hands-on history lesson: Kids, this is what cows used to feel like... before they became burgers!

Taxi-dermatologist

You know, I met a taxidermist the other day. I asked him if he ever gets tired of working with dead animals. He said, Nah, it's not too bad. It's like being a taxi-dermatologist – you pick up your clients, and they never complain about the fare!

The Ultimate Freeze Frame

I asked a taxidermist what his favorite movie was. He said, Anything with a lot of animals. It's like the ultimate freeze frame – they never spoil the ending by moving!

Wildlife Stand-Up Comedy

Imagine a taxidermist doing stand-up comedy. He'd be like, So I asked my lion model if it wanted to roar on stage. It just stared at me. Tough crowd, huh?!

Animal Avengers

I met a taxidermist who's a real superhero for animals. He told me, I'm like the Avengers for wildlife – I assemble them, but they never fight back!

Taxidermist's Taxidermy

I asked a taxidermist if he ever taxidermied his taxidermy tools. He said, Nah, that's too meta. I leave that to the existentialist taxidermists down the street!

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