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I tried one of those fancy diets where they promise you'll lose 10 pounds in a week. I lost 10 pounds alright, but I'm pretty sure it was just my wallet getting lighter from all those 'magic' shakes.
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Isn't it ironic how, after a heavy workout session, you feel lighter, more fit, and then you step on the scale, and it's like, "Nice try, champ. Have you considered taking up underwater basket weaving instead?
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You ever notice how stepping on a scale is like signing a contract with yourself? "Alright, here's the deal, if you promise not to judge me too harshly today, I'll try to lay off the cookies... at least until tonight.
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You know, I've realized that the only time my weight feels perfect is when I'm carrying in groceries from the car. Suddenly, I'm a human forklift, effortlessly balancing bags like it's an Olympic sport!
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I've come to the conclusion that scales are like the weather forecasters of the fitness world. One minute, they're predicting sunny skies and a bikini-ready body, and the next, you're in a thunderstorm wondering where it all went wrong!
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You know, I've come to realize that my bathroom scale has a pretty wicked sense of humor. I step on it, and it's like, "Did you have breakfast, or are you carrying around a backpack full of regrets?
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Ever notice how shopping for jeans is like playing a twisted game of roulette with your ego? "These were my size last year... Oh look, they're apparently designed for someone who's half me and twice as stretchy.
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You ever feel like your weight fluctuates based on the type of shoes you're wearing? I swear, one day I'm in sneakers feeling like I'm floating, and the next, I put on boots, and suddenly gravity's got a vendetta against me!
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They say a watched pot never boils, but have you ever noticed that a watched scale seems to add an extra pound or two? It's like it's playing hide and seek with my confidence.
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