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Why did the mortician become a detective? He had a knack for solving cold cases!
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Why did the mortician start a bakery? Because he wanted to make coffins and pastries – a true one-stop shop!
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What did the mortician say to the lazy employee? 'You need to have some backbone – you can't be spineless in this business!
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What's a mortician's favorite game? Six feet under – it's a real burial!
Mortician's Pet Peeve
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I asked a mortician what his biggest pet peeve was. He said, People who don't appreciate the value of silence. So I guess that's why they're the masters of a quiet crowd!
Mortician's Family Reunion
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You ever been to a mortician's family reunion? It's like a competition of who can tell the most chilling bedtime story. And trust me, they don't need any ghostwriters for those!
The Mortician's Nightmares
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Ever wonder what a mortician's dreams are like? Probably something along the lines of waking up late for work, forgetting his keys, and getting locked inside a coffin. Talk about work-related stress!
Mortician's Stand-up Routine
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You know, I once saw a mortician trying stand-up comedy. His opening line was, So, how's everyone feeling tonight? Dead tired, huh? Tough crowd—half of them were already asleep!
Mortician's Birthday Bash
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I attended a mortician's birthday party once. The candles on his cake looked like a fire hazard. I mean, how do you blow out candles when you're used to everything being six feet under?
Mortician's Dating Woes
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I heard a mortician tried online dating. His profile said he's great at making people look good even when they're not. But let's just say, the relationship didn't have the best chemistry.
Mortician's Comedy Club
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Imagine a mortician owning a comedy club. The drinks would be corpse light, the ambiance would be grave, and every joke would be a killer punchline. It's where the deadpan humor really thrives!
Mortician's Halloween Pranks
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I bet morticians love Halloween. It's their one night where everyone appreciates their work! Imagine the joy they get from scaring people by saying, Wanna see a dead body? Ah, they're just trying to liven up the party!
Mortician's Bucket List
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I read about a mortician's bucket list. Surprisingly, number one wasn't travel the world. It was more like organize the perfect eternal slumber. Hey, everyone's got their life goals, right?
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