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I told the mortician my grandfather wanted a Viking funeral. He said, 'Sorry, we can't row that boat right now!
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I told the mortician I wanted a lavish funeral. He said, 'Well, we can't bury you in debt!
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I asked the mortician for a discount on my funeral expenses. He said, 'Sorry, no body deals!'
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I told the mortician I wanted to be cremated. He looked at me and said, 'Well, that's the hottest request I've had all day!
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I asked the mortician if he had a retirement plan. He said, 'I'm just dying to get there!
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I told the mortician I wanted a simple funeral. He said, 'It's a grave decision, but we can bury the details!
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