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I thought about killing myself with a pillow, but then I realized that's a soft approach to a hard problem.
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My vacuum cleaner wanted to end its life. It was tired of living in a 'suck-y' environment.
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Did you hear about the depressed lightbulb? It wanted to end its filament.
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I told my computer I wanted to kill myself. Now it won't stop sending me 'life support' ads.
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