10 Jokes About Killing Themselves

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Mar 11 2025

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Ever notice how ghost stories always involve the ghost reenacting their death? Like, if I have to haunt someone, I'm not going to spend eternity folding laundry. Nope, I'm going straight to the person with the best snacks.
You ever notice how ghosts never seem to have a sense of timing? Like, really? Couldn't you have haunted me during office hours? Now I've got insomnia and a spectral roommate who's apparently on a graveyard shift!
You know, if ghosts are real, they must hate the concept of spring cleaning. They're just floating there, watching us throw out stuff, like, "Hey, I died for that antique chair! It's a family heirloom... or it was!
Ghost chefs must be terrible at cooking. "Just a pinch of salt? No problem. Oh wait, it went through my hand and now it's all over the floor. Well, the haunted kitchen aesthetic is in, right?
Ghost dating must be complicated. Imagine trying to plan a dinner date when your significant other can literally walk through walls. Reservation for two? Nah, more like "Reservation for two plus the spirit of a nosy Victorian lady who's just here for the gossip.
I bet ghost job interviews are a nightmare. "So, what are your strengths?" "Well, I'm excellent at scaring people, obviously. Also, I can make the lights flicker on cue. And if you have any unfinished business, I'm your guy.
Imagine being a ghost therapist. "Okay, Mr. Johnson, let's talk about why you're still haunting that old library. You need to let go and cross over. The Dewey Decimal System can handle itself!
I heard a ghost complaining the other day – apparently, they can't stand modern technology. "Back in my day, we just rattled chains and made eerie noises. Now they're expected to master the art of the selfie. It's a tough afterlife for these guys!
Ghosts and social distancing have a lot in common. They both have this habit of showing up when you least expect them, and you're left trying to figure out if that cold chill is a supernatural entity or just a draft.
I was reading about ghosts and the afterlife the other day. Apparently, there's no Wi-Fi in the afterlife. No wonder Casper is so friendly – he's just trying to get my Netflix password!

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