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Kermit is always sipping on that tea, right? I think he's got a serious tea addiction. I mean, he's the green face of Lipton at this point. He's probably got a secret stash of chamomile hidden in his swamp. You know, he goes to bed, and instead of counting sheep, he counts tea bags. And I bet when he gets mad, he doesn't scream; he just passive-aggressively stirs his tea louder. "Oh, you're gonna leave your socks on the floor? Well, listen to this whirlwind of agitation in my cup!
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Kermit's relationship with Miss Piggy is like a soap opera. It's the original love-hate dynamic. I can picture Kermit giving relationship advice: "So, folks, if your partner is a diva pig with anger issues, just keep sipping that tea and pretending everything is fine. It's all about balance, you see. Balance, and maybe a good therapist who specializes in interspecies relationships. I wonder if they have that on Sesame Street.
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You ever notice how Kermit the Frog is basically having a midlife crisis? I mean, the guy has been sipping tea and managing the Muppet chaos for decades. He's probably sitting there, looking at Miss Piggy, and thinking, "Is this really the life I imagined?" I can imagine him in therapy, going, "Doc, I'm surrounded by chickens, a drummer who can't keep a beat, and an overbearing pig. And don't even get me started on Gonzo.
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Kermit must have some serious green problems. I mean, he's the only green guy in the entire Muppet world. You'd think he'd have some support, like a green support group. "Hi, I'm Kermit, and I'm green." And the group would respond, "Hi, Kermit!" I bet he's jealous of all the other Muppets with their flashy colors. He's there, sipping his tea, looking at Elmo and thinking, "Easy being red, huh? Try being green in a rainbow-colored world!
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