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Kermit's voice is so soothing, it could calm a storm. I wish I had him on speed dial for those moments when my GPS gets confused, and I need directions. "Turn left at the next intersection... and remember, it's not easy being lost.
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I envy Kermit's ability to stay cool under pressure. If I were surrounded by a bunch of talking animals, I'd be constantly asking, "Am I on a hidden camera show? Is Ashton Kutcher about to jump out and tell me I'm being punked?
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Kermit's puppeteer must have biceps of steel. I can barely lift my groceries without complaining about it for a week. Meanwhile, this guy's out there, controlling a frog, making it ride bikes and sing. I can't even make my pet goldfish do tricks.
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You ever notice how Kermit the Frog is always trying to keep things together, managing a bunch of Muppets? I can barely handle my group chat with three friends. Kermit's like the ultimate project manager of the puppet world.
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Kermit is the only frog I know who's constantly surrounded by chaos but manages to keep that cool, collected demeanor. If I were him, I'd be more like, "Miss Piggy, Fozzie, please, can we have just one day without someone breaking into song?
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You ever realize that Kermit's life is a bit like a reality show? "Keeping Up with the Muppets." I can already imagine the tagline: "It's not easy being green, but it's even harder being the voice of reason in a world full of felt and foam.
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Kermit is always flipping that collar of his. I guess it's his way of saying, "I'm in control here, folks!" If I tried that move, people would just assume I have an itchy neck. Kermit's the only one who can make a fashion statement with a felt collar.
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Kermit's relationship with Miss Piggy is a masterclass in diplomacy. He's basically the United Nations of the Muppet world, mediating between a diva pig and a bunch of eccentric characters. I can barely navigate the drama at a family barbecue.
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You ever notice how Kermit is the only frog who can pull off an open relationship? Miss Piggy has eyes for him, but he's got a whole gang of Muppets to manage. That's some next-level polyamorous puppetry.
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