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If we really embraced "an eye for an eye," the optometry industry would be booming. Eye doctors would be the new lawyers, settling disputes one prescription at a time. "Your Honor, my client demands 20/20 vision in compensation!
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You ever notice how "an eye for an eye" doesn't quite work in a courtroom? "Your Honor, my client requests an eye for an eye!" The judge would probably respond, "Well, we'll have to schedule that for next Tuesday after lunch. Court's adjourned until eyeball bartering day!
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You know, instead of "an eye for an eye," we should consider "a pun for a pun." Someone tells a bad joke, you hit them with an equally terrible pun. That way, the punishment fits the crime, and we all get a good laugh.
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I was thinking about this "eye for an eye" thing, and I realized it's a bit outdated. In the modern world, we need an updated version, like "a like for a like" on social media. You unfollow me, I unfollow you. It's the digital revenge code.
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I thought about applying "an eye for an eye" to my diet. A cookie for a cookie. A slice of pizza for a slice of pizza. Unfortunately, it turns out my metabolism doesn't understand the concept of reciprocal snacking.
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They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But what if it's a dish you borrowed and forgot to return? Is it still okay to take someone's lasagna as payback? I'm just asking for a friend with a hungry sense of justice.
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They say "an eye for an eye" makes the whole world blind. I think they're onto something. Imagine a planet full of people walking around bumping into things because everyone is missing an eye. Traffic would be a nightmare.
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An eye for an eye" sounds like the original version of karma. Like, did ancient civilizations have a cosmic exchange rate chart? "You took my goat, I take your eye. You helped me build my hut, here's a spare eyelash." It's like a prehistoric balance sheet.
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Speaking of eyes, have you ever tried to wink at someone with both eyes? It's less flirty and more like you're having a seizure. Maybe we should update the saying to "a wink for a blink." Much more practical.
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