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Don't do drugs," they say. But have you ever tried to survive a Monday morning without a cup of coffee? Suddenly, the office printer isn't the only thing in the office that's jammed.
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I got this note that says "don't do drugs." Well, I decided to take up a safer hobby – online shopping. It's the only place where you can be high on anticipation, waiting for a package, and then crash hard when you realize you ordered the wrong size.
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So, the note says, "don't do drugs." Instead, I decided to join a gym. Now I'm convinced the elliptical machine is a time-travel device, taking me from regrettable snack decisions to a future where I can finally fit into those skinny jeans.
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So, I got this note: "don't do drugs." It's like telling a toddler not to touch anything – suddenly, everything becomes a potential drug. I'm standing in the grocery store, eyeing that caffeine-infused shampoo, thinking, "Is this the gateway to a better hair day or a wild night out?
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My ghost writer thinks I need a reminder: "don't do drugs." I'm like, "Fine, but have you ever tried going through a day without checking your phone? It's like walking through a ghost town – only the ghosts are your friends wondering why you're not responding to their memes.
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Don't do drugs," they advise. Well, I accidentally took a nap without setting an alarm. Waking up without a plan is like entering an episode of 'Survivor' – and the first challenge is finding where you left your phone.
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I got this note: "don't do drugs." Well, have you ever tried to resist the urge to press the elevator button repeatedly? It's the closest thing to a high-rise adrenaline rush, and suddenly, the ground floor feels like a distant memory.
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I received a note: "don't do drugs." So instead, I decided to binge-watch TV shows. Now I'm convinced my remote control is a magical wand, and pressing 'pause' is my way of freezing time – or at least postponing the inevitable laundry day.
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My ghost writer insists, "don't do drugs." But have you ever tried assembling IKEA furniture without the influence of caffeine? Suddenly, that Allen wrench becomes a mystical tool of empowerment, and the instruction manual is a suspenseful novel.
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