5 Jokes For Don't Do Drugs

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jul 23 2025

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The Eternal Procrastinator

Wanting to accomplish everything but also not wanting to move from the couch
I bought a self-help book on procrastination. It's been sitting on my shelf for a year. I'll get to it eventually.

The Amateur Chef

Trying to cook healthy meals but also having a love affair with fast food
I thought about going vegan, but then I remembered I'm an adult, and I make my own bad decisions.

The Coffee Addict

Trying to stay awake and alert but also desperately needing a nap
Decaf coffee is like a treadmill with no power - it looks like it's doing something, but deep down, you know it's useless.

The Tech Geek

Balancing a love for technology and a desperate need for human interaction
My computer's password is the most exercise I get. It requires one capital letter, a special character, and the blood of a virgin. I'm considering changing it to "pizza.

The Gym Buff

When you're addicted to working out but also love pizza
People at the gym keep asking me if I'm into CrossFit. Nah, I'm into cross-my-fingers-hoping-this-diet-works-fit.

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