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What did the priest say about the ashes on his forehead? 'It's not a smudge; it's a holy graffiti of repentance!
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Why did the priest bring a broom to the Ash Wednesday homily? Because he wanted to sweep away our sins with a clean sermon!
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Why did the Lenten preacher go to the bank? To get his ashes 'checked' for the upcoming season!
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Why did the penance-seeking chicken attend the Ash Wednesday homily? It wanted to start Lent with a clean coop!
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What did one ash say to the other on Ash Wednesday? 'We've been through a lot together, let's stick around for Lent!
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What did the Lenten preacher say to the comedian? Your jokes are good, but my sermons are Lent-ertaining!
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Why did the pastor become a gardener during Lent? He wanted to help people 'grow' in their faith!
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Why did the penance-goer bring a ladder to the Ash Wednesday service? To reach higher levels of repentance, of course!
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The priest said, Lent is a time for sacrifice and self-discipline. I'm sitting there thinking, I already sacrificed my weekend sleep for this early service, and my self-discipline is avoiding the temptation to take a nap right now.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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So, the priest mentioned that ashes symbolize purification and humility. I thought, Great, I'm walking around with ashes on my forehead, trying to be humble, and people are asking if I fell face-first into a fireplace. Humility achieved, I guess.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The priest encouraged us to use Lent as a time for spiritual growth. I whispered to my neighbor, I'm trying, Father, but it's hard to focus when I've got 'Hallelujah' stuck in my head. Leonard Cohen isn't helping my religious concentration.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The priest was really getting into it, talking about the significance of ashes. He said, Wearing ashes reminds us of our mortality. I leaned over to my neighbor and said, Well, it also reminds me that I need a better skincare routine. Who knew exfoliating was so spiritual?
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The priest asked us to reflect on our sins during the homily. I couldn't help but think, Father, with the way my memory works, I'm going to need a scroll, not a pamphlet. Can I get an altar call for forgetfulness?
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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I was at this Ash Wednesday service, and the priest was talking about repentance and the need to give up our vices. I thought, Father, I just gave up carbs for Lent, isn't that penance enough? I feel personally attacked by this sermon.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The homily got me thinking about my life choices, and I realized I need to be more charitable. So, I turned to my friend and said, I'm giving up my sarcastic comments for Lent. They replied, Well, that lasted about as long as a snow cone in July.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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The priest talked about the symbolism of the ashes forming a cross on our foreheads. I thought, Great, now I've got this ash cross on my face, and people are giving me odd looks. I feel like the unintentional superhero of religious smudges.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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I left the service feeling all reflective, and then I accidentally bumped into someone. Ashes on my forehead transferred to their cheek. I apologized and said, Sorry, I guess today I'm not just spreading the Gospel, but also a little bit of holy highlighter.
Ash Wednesday Homilies
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You know, I went to an Ash Wednesday service recently, and the priest started the homily with, Remember, from dust you came, and to dust you shall return. I turned to my friend and whispered, Well, that's comforting. I came from dust bunnies under my bed and apparently, I'm headed back there.
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