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Do you think zombies ever get bored? I mean, all they do is roam around aimlessly, looking for their next meal. It's like the world's worst vacation – no itinerary, no destination, just an eternal hunger for brains.
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Zombies are like the ultimate slow walkers. I saw one the other day, and I thought, "Is this guy on a stroll or auditioning for the world's slowest marathon?" It's like they're in no rush to get anywhere, but you better believe they'll eventually catch up.
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Have you ever tried reasoning with a zombie? It's like negotiating with a toddler who missed their nap – zero comprehension. I was like, "Hey, buddy, brains are overrated. Have you considered a nice vegetarian diet? No response, just more aimless groaning.
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Zombies have this incredible ability to make you question your athleticism. You see them stumbling around, and suddenly you're like, "Maybe I'm not in as bad shape as I thought." It's the only time a dead person makes you feel better about yourself.
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I realized zombies are the ultimate advocates for work-life balance. I mean, they never seem stressed or overwhelmed. They're just like, "Chill, man. Live in the moment. And by 'live,' I mean shuffle slowly towards your inevitable demise.
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You know you're in a zombie apocalypse when even the fitness enthusiasts are like, "I've been training for this my whole life – cardio, baby!" Suddenly, the gym buffs are the ones with the survival advantage. Who knew the treadmill would save us from the undead?
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Zombies are like the ultimate party crashers. You're having a great time, dancing, enjoying snacks, and suddenly they show up uninvited, bringing the energy down to a slow, creepy crawl. Note to self: No more zombie-themed parties.
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I noticed zombies are the only creatures who truly believe in the "no pain, no gain" mantra. I mean, you shoot them, stab them, set them on fire – they just keep coming. It's like they attended the motivational seminar for the undead.
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Zombies must be the only creatures that never worry about job interviews. I mean, imagine going in for an interview and the boss asks, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" and you're like, "Well, ideally, decomposing and terrorizing the living.
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