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Zombie Dating
Navigating the challenges of love when you're, well, undead
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When my date asked me if I wanted to be exclusive, I said, "Honey, I've been exclusive with the undead for centuries.
Zombie Stand-Up Comedian
Making jokes when your audience might mistake your performance for an actual zombie apocalypse
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Tried a new joke: "Why did the zombie go to therapy? Because he had too many 'dead'-issues!" Got some groans, but that's a win in my book.
Zombie Job Seeker
Trying to find a job after being undead for centuries
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Applied for a position at the cemetery. They said I wasn't a good fit because I couldn't stop moaning during the quiet moments.
Zombie Fitness Instructor
Encouraging clients to embrace the "dead-lift" lifestyle
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Had a fitness class where we practiced "zombie yoga." It's like regular yoga, but we just lay on the mat and pretend to be dead. Great for corpse-oration!
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