10 Jokes For When Chuck Norris

Puns

Updated on: Aug 06 2024

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When Chuck Norris stares at the sun, the sun wears sunglasses! I tried it, and now I'm not allowed at the optometrist's office without a signed apology letter from the sun.
When Chuck Norris does a marathon, he doesn't break a sweat; he breaks the laws of physics! I tried it too. I got winded just thinking about running a marathon and ended up binge-watching one on TV instead.
When Chuck Norris claps, even the sound waves applaud! I clapped after telling my last joke, and all I got were confused looks and a distant golf clap from the crickets.
When Chuck Norris cooks, the onions cry! I attempted the same in my kitchen, and now my onions won't even talk to me. It's a tearful situation.
When Chuck Norris sends his selfies to NASA, they have to use the Hubble Telescope! Can you imagine the resolution on that thing? It's not a photo; it's a detailed map of his beard follicles.
When Chuck Norris does a wheelie on his motorcycle, the Earth rotates to keep up! I tried it on my bicycle, and I ended up with a sore back and a neighborhood association warning.
When Chuck Norris does a puzzle, the pieces fall into place out of respect! I tried it with a jigsaw puzzle, and the pieces rebelled. Now I have a half-finished puzzle staging a sit-in on my coffee table.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on; he turns the dark off! I attempted this once. Let's just say the electric bill wasn't the only thing that left me in the dark.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's not lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down! I tried doing the same, and my neighbors knocked on the door, asking if I could please stop rearranging their furniture.
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, the universe hides from him! I played hide and seek with my cat once. He hid so well I couldn't find him for three days. I still suspect he had help.

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