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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug – she misunderstood. I meant 'mis-ticks', not 'mistakes'!
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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? 'Look, Grandpa, no hands!
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I have a friend who's a professional wristwatch repairer. He's always got time on his hands.
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My alarm clock and I had a staring contest. I won because it couldn't keep its eyes open.
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I told my boss that my clock is always two hours fast. He said, 'Set it back.
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