55 Jokes For What Goes

Updated on: Jun 10 2024

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Introduction:
Chef Pierre, the esteemed maestro of gastronomy, was hosting an exclusive cooking demonstration at the International Culinary Festival. Among the eager audience was Mabel, an aspiring chef with an insatiable appetite for wit.
Main Event:
As Chef Pierre showcased his culinary prowess, Mabel, with her clever wordplay, tossed humorous remarks about his flamboyant use of spices. Meanwhile, a slapstick moment ensued when a sous chef slipped on an escaped olive, performing an impromptu dance of culinary calamity.
Amidst the chaos, as Chef Pierre attempted a daring flambe, a witty comment from Mabel about "playing with fire" had the audience in stitches. The flames danced wildly, almost reaching the chef's iconic mustache, prompting gasps and guffaws alike.
Conclusion:
With the culinary masterpiece completed and the flames doused, Chef Pierre, with a twinkle in his eye, proclaimed, "Remember, what goes into the dish must come out as applause... or an extinguisher!" The audience erupted in laughter, leaving with both a taste of exquisite cuisine and a bellyful of hearty chuckles.
Introduction:
In the sleepy town of Quirktown, Mrs. Penelope Pemberton was known for her peculiar collection of artifacts, from ancient teapots to disco-era lava lamps. As she decided to declutter her abode, the entire town eagerly awaited the much-anticipated estate sale.
Main Event:
As the townsfolk gathered, Mrs. Pemberton, with her knack for dry humor, labeled each item with exaggerated tales of its origin. A particularly witty teapot was said to have belonged to a tea-drinking wizard! Meanwhile, in a slapstick turn, Mr. Thompson got tangled in a set of 70s bell-bottoms, causing giggles among the crowd.
As the sale progressed, a wordplay-filled bidding war ensued over a Renaissance-era cheese grater, with Mrs. Pemberton quipping, "It's gratefully historic!" Amidst the chaos, her cat, Sir Fluffykins, decided to chase a rogue disco ball, sending it careening into a pile of antique doilies.
Conclusion:
In the end, as the last item found a new home, Mrs. Pemberton, with a mischievous smile, declared, "Remember, what goes out, comes around... unless it's a disco ball, apparently!" The town departed, clutching their newfound treasures and chuckling at the eccentricity that filled their day.
Introduction:
At the quaint harbor of Seaside Shores, Captain Jones, renowned for his steadfastness on the open sea, prepared to set sail with his seasoned crew. Among them was First Mate Henry, an eager yet somewhat clumsy sailor. As they readied the vessel, a jovial buzz filled the air, with tourists and locals gathering to bid the crew farewell.
Main Event:
As the ship cast off, a mischievous seagull, christened Sir Squawks-a-Lot by the crew, decided to perch on the mast. Henry, ever the enthusiast, tried to shoo the bird away with a broom, causing a comical back-and-forth between man and bird. Meanwhile, Captain Jones, with his signature dry wit, commented on the "feathered stowaway."
In the midst of this avian chaos, Henry, in a slapstick moment, slipped on a rogue fish, sending buckets of water flying. The crew erupted into laughter, with the Captain quipping about Henry's penchant for bringing the ocean onto the ship instead of navigating through it.
Conclusion:
As the ship ventured into the horizon, Sir Squawks-a-Lot decided to depart with a final "farewell squawk," leaving Henry flustered and drenched. Captain Jones, with a twinkle in his eye, remarked, "Well, what goes overboard must come down, Henry." And with that, they sailed off into the sunset, leaving behind a harbor full of chuckles.
Introduction:
In the ancient town of Bookshire, librarian Mr. Thompson stumbled upon an ancient map hinting at a hidden treasure within the fabled library's labyrinthine shelves. Accompanied by his trusty assistant, Emma, they embarked on a quest through dusty tomes and towering bookshelves.
Main Event:
As they navigated the library's twists and turns, Mr. Thompson, with his dry wit, commented on the irony of searching for treasure in a place where overdue fines were the closest thing to riches. Meanwhile, Emma, in a slapstick moment, accidentally triggered a cascade of books, creating a literary landslide.
In their quest, they encountered cryptic word puzzles and riddles, prompting Emma's clever wordplay and Mr. Thompson's dry retorts. Amidst the chaos of toppling book stacks and comically wrong turns, they finally stumbled upon a chest.
Conclusion:
Upon opening the chest, they found not gold but a note that read, "In books, what goes between the lines is the true treasure." Mr. Thompson, with a chuckle, remarked, "Well, it seems the real treasure is the laughter shared while searching!" And with that, they left the fabled library, their hearts lighter and minds brimming with tales of their whimsical quest.
Let's get philosophical for a moment. You ever wonder what goes through people's minds when they make decisions? I mean, have you seen the stuff people buy? I saw a guy the other day purchasing a do-it-yourself rocket kit, and I'm thinking, "What goes through your mind to decide that's a good idea?"
Audience chuckles
And let's not even start on decisions we make at 3 AM. You're scrolling through the internet, suddenly thinking, "Yeah, I definitely need a life-sized garden gnome." What goes through our minds in those moments of late-night delirium?
Audience laughter
But seriously, our minds are fascinating. You can start thinking about going to bed early, and suddenly you're contemplating the existence of the universe. It's like our brains have a GPS that says, "Turn left for existential crisis."
Audience erupts in laughter
And then there are those moments when you're in a meeting, and you're nodding like you understand everything, but inside you're just thinking, "What goes?" It's the ultimate disguise for confusion. You're nodding, but your mind's on a tropical island sipping coconut water.
Let's talk about the fridge, folks. That magical box where food goes to either chill or morph into a science project, right? But seriously, have you ever opened your fridge and thought, "What goes in here?" I mean, what is this hierarchy of the fridge items?
Audience nods in agreement
You've got the leftovers in the back, staring at you like, "When's our time gonna come?" And then you've got those mystery containers that could either be last night's spaghetti or a science experiment your roommate forgot about three months ago.
Audience laughter
But the real question is, why does the fridge have zones? The top shelf, that's like the VIP section for the essentials. Then you've got the bottom shelf, where the forgotten veggies go to hibernate until they turn into compost. And don't get me started on the door. That's like the Bermuda Triangle of condiments. Who needs five different types of mustard? What goes?
Audience chuckles
But despite the chaos, there's always that one item that never moves. That one thing that defies all laws of consumption. It's like a relic from ancient times, staring at you every day, saying, "I dare you to eat me."
Audience erupts in laughter
I've learned one thing about my fridge: it's not just about what goes in there, it's about what goes missing and mysteriously reappears as a science experiment later on!
You ever have those moments where you're just standing there, staring into the void, and suddenly you think, "What goes?" I mean, what really goes? It's such a simple phrase, yet it's a mystery wrapped in an enigma. It's like the "Hello" of confusion, right? You can use it for anything!
Audience chuckles
I tried it the other day at a restaurant. The waiter comes up, hands me the menu, and I'm looking at it like, "What goes?" And he's just staring at me like, "What do you mean what goes? Everything goes, it's a menu!" But seriously, why do we use it? It's the ultimate question mark. You can ask it about life, relationships, even your breakfast choice! "Cereal or toast? What goes?"
Audience laughter
And then you try to explain it to someone who doesn't get it. You're like, "It's not 'what's going on,' it's not 'what's up,' it's not even 'what's cooking.' It's just 'what goes.'" And they're like, "What?"
Audience erupts in laughter
But seriously, next time you're in a confusing situation, just drop a casual "What goes?" and watch the magic happen. It's like the secret password to enter the realm of confusion.
Let's talk relationships, folks. You ever have those moments where you're in a conversation, and suddenly it takes a turn, and you're like, "What goes in this relationship?" It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded, right?
Audience nods in agreement
You're nodding along, having a great time, and then they drop a bombshell like, "I don't like pizza," and you're thinking, "What goes with not liking pizza?"
Audience chuckles
But seriously, relationships are full of those "what goes" moments. You start off thinking it's all sunshine and rainbows, and then you're arguing about whose turn it is to take out the trash. What goes from romantic dates to trash debates?
Audience laughter
And let's not even get started on the silent treatment. You're sitting there, both pretending everything's fine, but inside you're just screaming, "What goes?!" It's like a silent movie, but instead of black and white, it's just awkwardness and confusion.
Audience erupts in laughter
But hey, that's the beauty of relationships. It's not about figuring out what goes; it's about embracing the chaos and enjoying the ride, even if it involves disagreements about pizza toppings or who left the toilet seat up.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't we ever tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the stomach for it!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
I'm trying to organize a space-themed party. It's out of this world!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
Why don't we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it's hard to find good players.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

The Confused Pet Owner

Trying to figure out why pets act the way they do
My dog’s like a philosopher, contemplating the deeper mysteries of life. Or maybe he's just puzzled why I keep throwing a stick and then getting upset when he brings it back. It's a fetch-22 situation.

The Clueless DIY Enthusiast

Attempting home repairs without a clue
Thought I'd paint the living room. Ended up creating a mural that Picasso would admire. Not sure if it's avant-garde or if I just discovered a new color called "Oops-I-Made-A-Mess Green.

The Office Worker

Understanding office politics and dynamics
I'm convinced my desk chair's in cahoots with the IT guy. The more I try to adjust it, the more it seems to roll towards the boss's office, plotting my accidental entrance into an important meeting.

The Amateur Chef

Attempting to master the kitchen despite culinary mishaps
Tried making a recipe that said, "fold gently." I folded so gently, the ingredients gave me a standing ovation. Sadly, the dish looked more like modern art than dinner.

The Tech-Challenged Parent

Navigating the digital world with children
Teaching my mom to text emojis is an adventure. Her interpretation of a crying face looks more like a mashed potato sculpture attempting a frown. Texts from her are like deciphering hieroglyphics.

What Goes!

Let's talk fashion, folks. You ever stand in front of your closet, staring at your clothes, and just think, What goes together? I mean, I can't be the only one who's attempted to match stripes with polka dots, thinking I'd start a new trend. But then reality hits, and I look more like a walking optical illusion. And don't even ask about those fashion rules. Apparently, I've committed a cardinal sin by wearing white after Labor Day. Who knew clothes had a seasonal passport?

What Goes!

Let's talk about dating for a second. You meet someone, things are going great, and then suddenly, they hit you with we need to talk. And your mind's racing, thinking, What goes? What did I do? Turns out, they just want to discuss the complexity of grapefruit spoon selection. I'm sitting there sweating bullets, thinking I've committed a relationship crime, and they're here debating the merits of serrated edges versus regular spoons! Man, the relief was real, but so was the confusion.

What Goes!

The gym, folks. The land of treadmills, weights, and the eternal question of What goes here? I mean, have you ever looked at some of those exercise machines and thought they were stolen from a sci-fi set? You try to decipher the purpose while pretending to know what you're doing, and suddenly, you're a contortionist attempting yoga on a weight bench. And let's not forget the workout gear. Why do gym clothes come with more straps and zippers than a spacesuit? I just want to sweat, not solve a Rubik's cube!

What Goes!

You know, I've been trying to get into this whole healthy lifestyle thing. But have you seen the produce aisle lately? I stand there staring at some exotic vegetable like it's an alien artifact, wondering what goes with what. Like, do I pair kale with quinoa and sprinkle some chia seeds on top, or will that just summon a wellness guru to critique my choices? And don't get me started on trying to pronounce half of those superfoods. I feel like I need a dictionary just to make a salad!

What Goes!

Ah, the joys of technology! You get a new gadget, and the first thing you think is, What goes wrong next? It's like a cosmic law—just when you think you're tech-savvy, your device decides to speak its own language. Ever had a printer that communicates in Morse code? Or a phone that thinks it's a DJ, randomly playing your playlist in the middle of a meeting? And the best part? Tech support's solution: Have you tried turning it off and on again? Oh yeah, because that's the cure for everything!

What Goes!

Let's talk about the English language. You ever try explaining to a non-native speaker why What goes is a question? I mean, seriously, if English were a person, it'd be that cryptic friend who speaks in riddles. What goes? Oh, you know, nouns, verbs, maybe a dangling participle or two! And then we have phrases like I'm all ears. No, Karen, you're not literally all ears. If you were, I'd be concerned and possibly offering you a hat!

What Goes!

You ever have those moments where you're staring at your fridge like it's a crystal ball, trying to figure out what goes? I mean, seriously, when did leftovers become a culinary puzzle? It's like playing a game of fridge roulette, hoping you don't end up with mystery meatloaf from three weeks ago. And what's with those containers? They all look the same until you crack one open, and suddenly, you're on a flavor adventure. Is it spaghetti or science experiment? Who knows!

What Goes!

You know what really makes you wonder what goes? IKEA furniture. I mean, bless those little instruction booklets, they're like hieroglyphics trying to explain rocket science. You start with enthusiasm, a vision of a sleek bookshelf, but an hour in, you're surrounded by wooden planks and an allen wrench, questioning not just your DIY skills but your entire existence. And then there's always that one leftover screw! You look at it, it looks at you, and both of you are just wondering where the heck you missed putting it.

What Goes!

Let's talk about driving for a sec. You ever find yourself at a roundabout, trying to figure out what goes where? It's like a real-life game of musical chairs, except instead of a chair, you're aiming for an exit. You enter confidently, signaling left, and suddenly, it's a NASCAR race with everyone trying to merge at the same time. And don't get me started on the unwritten rules! Apparently, the right of way is decided by telepathy because the blinkers on those cars are just for decoration.

What Goes!

Have you ever tried to fix something around the house, and you end up having to ask yourself, What goes where? I swear, it's like a jigsaw puzzle without the picture on the box. You think you've got it all figured out, and suddenly you've got extra screws, missing bolts, and a sink that looks more like modern art than a functioning faucet. And let's not even start with the instructions—tiny font, unclear diagrams, and the helpful advice of Assembly should take approximately 30 minutes. Yeah, if you're a professional assembler from Mars!
You ever notice how the older you get, the more your definition of a wild Friday night changes? In your 20s, it's all about parties and dancing. In your 30s, it's a nice dinner and maybe a movie. But by the time you hit your 40s, a wild Friday night is just managing to stay awake past 9 PM without drifting off into dreamland. What goes? The energy, that's what goes!
Have you ever noticed how the grocery store is the only place where you'll see someone you haven't seen in years, and you both desperately try to avoid eye contact, pretending to be engrossed in reading nutrition labels? What goes? It's like the grocery store has a secret reunion agenda that we're all trying to dodge.
Why is it that we always remember the embarrassing moments in life more vividly than the good ones? You could have a thousand compliments, but your brain is like, "Nah, let's focus on that one time you tripped over your own feet in public." What goes? It's like our brains are wired for awkwardness and humiliation.
The invention of autocorrect has turned us all into unintentional comedians. You type a simple message, hit send, and suddenly your phone decides you meant to tell someone you're "ducking tired." What goes? I didn't know ducks were experts in fatigue, but thanks for the suggestion, phone.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. You see that fresh, clean sponge, and suddenly you're convinced your whole life is in order. What goes? It's the little things that bring us joy, like the satisfaction of knowing your dishes will be scrubbed with the power of a brand-new sponge.
Ever notice how your favorite songs become less about the lyrics and more about the ability to sing the wrong words confidently? You'll be belting out the chorus, convinced you've got it right, only to find out you've been singing a completely different story. What goes? It's like our brains have their own remix version of reality.
Ever wonder why it takes a special kind of talent to find something you just had in your hand a moment ago? I mean, you're sitting there, you put it down for a second, and suddenly it's like playing hide and seek with your own belongings. What goes? It's like they have a secret society meeting, plotting to disappear just to mess with us.
Can we talk about the mystery of missing socks in the laundry? You put two socks in, and somehow, only one comes out. What goes? Is there a sock Bermuda Triangle inside the dryer? I'm starting to suspect that socks have their own secret society, and they're staging escapes to freedom.
Have you ever noticed that the snooze button on an alarm clock has this magical power to make time go by faster? You think you've got 10 more minutes, you hit snooze, and suddenly it's an hour later. What goes? I'm convinced there's a mischievous wizard behind that button, playing tricks on us and stealing our precious morning minutes.
Let's talk about multitasking. It's like this mythical skill we all think we possess until we try to do it. You're on a conference call, typing an email, and suddenly realize you've been nodding along to a conversation you have no clue about. What goes? It's like our brains have a limited number of tabs open, and once you hit the limit, good luck remembering what's happening in any of them.

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