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In a small town where curiosity thrived as much as gossip, lived Martha, the local librarian, renowned for her love of facts. It was the annual trivia night at the community center, and Martha was leading her team, "The Brainy Bookworms," against the reigning champions. The theme of the night
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In a quaint café known for its eccentric owner, Miss Maple, customers were treated not just to coffee and pastries but also to a daily dose of offbeat trivia. Miss Maple had a penchant for sharing utterly random facts with her patrons, making each visit a unique experience. One day,
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In a town known for its eccentric characters, lived Professor Pendergast, an academic with an insatiable thirst for the obscure. One day, he stumbled upon an ancient scroll hinting at a treasure buried beneath the town square—a treasure guarded by a riddle involving useless facts. Obsessed with the idea of
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In a bustling corporate office, known for its competitive spirit, worked Andy and Lily, two colleagues engaged in a battle of wits over the most absurd facts. Every lunch break turned into a trivia duel between them, each trying to outdo the other with increasingly obscure information. Their colleagues gathered
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I've decided to turn these useless facts into a fitness plan. You know, instead of counting calories, I count useless facts. Did you know that a group of pandas is called an embarrassment? I thought that was just my high school reunion, but apparently, it applies to cute, bamboo-chomping bears
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Let's have our own Uselessness Olympics, shall we? In one corner, we have honey that never spoils, and in the other corner, we have flamingos who can only eat upside down. It's the battle of the utterly pointless! I can already see it: flamingos doing gymnastics while balancing jars of
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You ever notice how useless facts mess with your mind? I recently learned that a group of flamingos is called a "flamboyance." Now, if that doesn't sound like a term created by a committee of drama queens, I don't know what does. I can just picture them strutting around, feathers
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You know, I love useless facts. They're like the unsung heroes of trivial information. I mean, did you know that honey never spoils? I discovered this the hard way when I found a jar of honey in my pantry that had seen more decades than I have. I thought I'd
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Why did the useless fact join social media? It wanted to be trending, but alas, it remained 'hashtag obscure'!
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What's a useless fact's favorite song? 'All About That Waste' by Facty McUseless!
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Why did the useless fact avoid the party? It didn't want to be the 'conversation stopper'!
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I once tried using useless facts in a debate. The opponent said, 'You're just spinning a web of trivia!
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I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a useless fact. They replied, 'Only if it's good for absolutely nothing!
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Why don't useless facts get sunburned? They're always in the shade of 'irrelevance'!
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My useless fact collection is vast. It's my 'knowledge junkyard'—full of treasures no one wants!
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Why did the useless fact go to school? It wanted to be outstanding in its field of 'uselessness'!
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I shared a useless fact about stairs. My friend replied, 'You step up your game, but your facts take us down!
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I told my friend 10 useless facts to impress them. Sadly, none of them were impressed; they all said, 'Tell us something we don't know!
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Why did the useless fact apply for a job? It wanted to 'work' on being more relevant, but it got 'unemployed' instead!
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What's a fact's favorite game? Fact or Fiction. But it always loses, claiming 'I'm just too true to be good!
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I tried telling a useless fact at a party. It was so dull that it caused an 'awkward fact silence'!
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Why did the useless fact refuse to leave the library? It was bound to stay on the shelf forever!
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Why don't useless facts get invited to games? They ruin it by 'trivializing' everything!
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I read so many useless facts that now my brain's a trivia wasteland. My friends say I'm a 'mindless information hoarder'!
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I brought a useless fact to a creativity contest. It said, 'I'm just here to bring down the 'novel'ty!
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Why did the useless fact get kicked out of the trivia night? It kept answering questions no one asked!
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What's the favorite dance of a useless fact? The 'shuffle'—it's always moving without going anywhere!
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I tried to impress my crush with a useless fact. They said, 'You're a perfect match for my uninterested mind!
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What do you call a useless fact in a tuxedo? A 'formal' waste of knowledge!
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I tried impressing someone with useless facts about plants, but they said, 'You're barking up the wrong tree!
The Know-It-All Uncle
Thinks he knows everything but actually doesn't.
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I asked my know-it-all uncle for advice on relationships. He said, "Love is like a Rubik's Cube; sometimes, you just need to twist and turn until all the colors match." Now I'm single, confused, and still trying to figure out that darn cube.
The Literal Literalist
Takes everything literally, even useless facts.
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Shared the fact that honey never spoils, and my literalist friend goes, "Well, duh! It's not like honey has a 'best before' date stamped on it. I'm throwing out my expired peanut butter, though.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Believes every useless fact is part of a grand conspiracy.
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So, I told this guy about the useless fact that bananas are berries, and he says, "It's a plot by the banana industry to control our minds. Next thing you know, they'll be sending potassium waves through our TVs.
The Selective Memory Grandma
Remembers only the useless facts she finds interesting.
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Shared the useless fact that the average person walks the equivalent of five times around the world in a lifetime. Now, every time I see my grandma, she's like, "I'm training for the world walking championship. Just in case, you know?
The Pessimistic Optimist
Sees the downside even in useless facts.
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Tried to cheer up my pessimistic optimist friend by saying, "Honey never spoils." He responds, "That's because the bees are on strike, and we're heading towards a honey shortage. Stock up, folks, apocalypse by sweetness.
Facts Unleashed
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Ever encounter someone who drops useless facts like breadcrumbs? Hey, did you know the dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle? Yeah, and did you know the exit door is called an escape from this conversation?
The Useless Facts Whisperer
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Some folks collect stamps; others collect useless facts. They've got a database in their brain that's like, In 1873, someone patented a net for catching fog. Cool, but have you patented a way to catch my interest?
Fact or Fiction: The Useless Trivia Game
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I swear, there's someone out there memorizing the most pointless things. They'll pop up at parties like, Hey, did you know honey never spoils? It's basically immortal. Yeah, thanks, I’ll sleep better knowing my honey will outlive me.
Facts Galore!
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Ever chat with someone who throws out the most random facts? The plastic at the end of shoelaces is called an aglet. Wow, thanks for enlightening me! Now, if only I could aglet you to stop sharing these!
The Fact Fixation
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There’s always someone fixated on trivia. Hey, did you know a cat has 32 muscles in each ear? Yeah, well, I've developed one muscle—an eye roll for moments like these.
The Useless Fact Fanatics
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I met someone who’s a walking Wikipedia of useless knowledge. They drop these gems like, A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out. And I’m like, Neither can I after hearing that fact.
The Trivia Troublemakers
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People who bombard you with useless facts are like human pop-up ads. Hey, did you know a group of ferrets is called a 'business'? Yeah, and a group of boring people is called a lecture.
The Useless Facts Chronicles
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You ever get trapped in a conversation with someone who's armed with useless facts? Like, they're walking encyclopedias of irrelevance. Did you know a group of flamingos is called a 'flamboyance'? Yeah, great! Now I can confidently dominate the 'Unimportant Trivia Olympics.
Facts Overload
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There's a special breed of humans who are repositories of irrelevant information. Hey, did you know carrots were originally purple? Yeah, and did you know I'm running out of patience?
Factually Speaking
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There's always that one friend who brings up random facts in conversation. Hey, did you know it's physically impossible for pigs to look up at the sky? Really? Well, it’s probably impossible for me to take you seriously too!
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Useless facts are like the extra fries at the bottom of the bag – you didn't ask for them, but now you can't resist indulging. Except instead of satisfaction, you're left wondering why you know that a snail can sleep for three years.
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Useless facts are the only things that never judge you. You can be in your pajamas, eating cereal for dinner, and your mind is like, "Hey, did you know a group of owls is called a 'parliament'?" Thanks, brain, for not pointing out my life choices.
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You ever feel like your brain is playing trivia with itself? I'm sitting there, minding my own business, and suddenly I'm hit with, "A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time, equal to the time it takes for light to travel one centimeter in a vacuum." Well, thank you, brain, for that incredibly specific and useless knowledge.
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Useless facts are like the breadcrumbs of conversation. You drop them, hoping someone will follow the trail, but most of the time, they just look at you like, "Why are we in the woods of random information?
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Imagine if we could trade useless facts like trading cards. "I'll give you the fact that a 'group of crows is called a murder' for your knowledge on the speed of a sneeze." The ultimate nerd currency.
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Why is it that the most useless facts come to mind during the most crucial moments? Like, in the middle of a job interview, my brain decides to remind me that honey never spoils. Great, now I'll be known as the bee enthusiast with zero employable skills.
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I love how useless facts make you feel momentarily smart until you realize you have no practical use for knowing that a 'jiffy' is a real unit of time. It's like having a superhero power that only works in trivial pursuit games.
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You ever notice how we remember useless facts better than important stuff? I can tell you the lifespan of a Mayfly, but ask me where I left my keys, and suddenly I'm Sherlock Holmes in a hopeless case.
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Have you ever tried impressing someone with a useless fact, and they just stare at you like you're an alien? Yeah, I told a date that a group of flamingos is called a "flamboyance." She looked at me like I just made up a new dance move.
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