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Why did Trump apply for a job at the bakery? He heard they kneaded a new president!
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Why did Trump bring a ladder to the White House? He heard the election was all about getting to the next level!
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Trump tried to be a musician, but he couldn't find the right note. Turns out, he was always flat!
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Trump tried to be a gardener, but he kept grabbing the wrong kind of bush!
Trump Tweets: The Original Clickbait
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I miss the days when the most dangerous thing you could find on the internet was a clickbait article. With Trump as president, every morning was like waking up to a new episode of Twitter Theatre. It was like, What's the plot twist today? Alien invasion or just another feud with a celebrity? Stay tuned!
Trump's Tan: The Real State Secret
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I've always wondered if Trump had a secret tanning room in the White House. I mean, how do you maintain that shade of orange? I bet if we looked closely at the blueprints, there's a room labeled Operation: Sun-Kissed Statesman.
Trump Card in the Oval Office
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You know, having Trump as president was like playing a card game, but instead of Uno or Poker, we were stuck with Trump Card. Every day felt like a wild draw-four, and the entire country was collectively yelling, Skip! Skip! Can we skip this turn, please?
Trump University: Where Everyone Graduates Magna Cum Fraud
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Let's not forget Trump's venture into education with Trump University. I heard the graduation ceremony was just him handing out diplomas while saying, You're fired! Class of 2020, the only class that learned how to file for bankruptcy before writing a term paper.
Trump's Vocabulary: The Art of the Deal with Words
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Trump had this way of simplifying complex issues with his vocabulary. It's like he was playing a game of Scrabble but only had access to the two-letter words. Big. Huge. Great. I guess in Trump's world, eloquence was just another deep-state conspiracy.
Trump and Time Travel: Back to the Future, But No Hoverboards
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If Trump had a time machine, I bet he'd go back to the '80s. You know, when hair was big, ties were even bigger, and the only tweets were from birds. He'd probably try to make America the number one exporter of neon spandex. Make America flashy again!
Trump's Hair: A National Mystery
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I always wondered if Trump's hair had its own security clearance. I mean, it was a constant presence, like a fuzzy national secret. I wouldn't be surprised if, in the future, we find out that the hair was the one making all the important decisions.
Trump and Handshakes: A WrestleMania Moment
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I never understood Trump's handshake technique. It's like he's trying to win a WWE match in the middle of a diplomatic meeting. I half expected him to pull out a folding chair and yell, Smackdown, anyone?
Trump and Global Warming: A Hot Take
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Trump once said he didn't believe in global warming. I guess he thought it was just a political strategy by the Earth to gain more followers on Instagram. Climate change influencers, coming soon to a doomsday near you.
Trump's Wall vs. My Neighbor's Fence
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Remember Trump's big plan for a border wall? I tried to apply the same logic to my annoying neighbor. I built a fence, and let me tell you, it didn't solve anything. Now it just feels like I'm trapped in my own personal sitcom, Everybody Hates the Guy Next Door.
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