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Melania's Speechwriter
Making her speeches relatable
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I have to write speeches that make Melania seem relatable. It's like trying to convince people that the Queen is just your neighbor who happens to live in a palace.
Air Force One Pilot
Navigating turbulence in politics and the sky
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I thought being an Air Force One pilot would be glamorous. Instead, it's like being a chauffeur for a guy who thinks he's driving.
Trump's Hair Stylist
Trying to keep it under control
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My job is to style Trump's hair, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a battle with a sentient haystack. It's like, "Stay down, we've got an election to win!
The Wall Architect
Building something even taller than Trump's ego
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Trying to build a wall that satisfies Trump is like trying to build a sandcastle in the tide. Every time you finish, he changes his mind.
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