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You ever catch yourself stalking your own social media? Come on, we've all done it. You post a photo, and then you find yourself going back to check how many likes it got every 10 minutes. It's like, "Oh, we hit 100 likes! I'm practically famous!" Then, an hour later, it's at 101, and you're like, "Who's the slacker who didn't like my photo immediately?" And don't get me started on scrolling through your own timeline, reminiscing about the good ol' days of last week. "Ah, the salad I had on Tuesday. Those were simpler times." It's like we're self-stalking, creating our own highlight reel for an audience of one.
But seriously, why do we do this? It's not like we're going to surprise ourselves with new information. "Breaking news: I still like pizza, and I apparently went through a phase of posting way too many cat memes in 2016." It's a rabbit hole, my friends, and we're all falling into it, one self-stalk at a time.
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I recently heard about this thing called "ethical stalking." Yeah, apparently it's a thing. It's when you stalk someone online, not because you're nosy or trying to find out if they're single, but because you want to make sure they're a decent human being. It's like the superhero version of stalking. You're on a date, and instead of asking about their exes, you're checking their Twitter feed to see if they retweet any inspirational quotes or if they're just retweeting conspiracy theories. It's the modern way of doing a background check without them knowing.
But let's be real, it's a thin line between ethical stalking and just being a cyber-sleuth. "Oh, you support local businesses? Let me cross-reference that with your Yelp reviews." It's all about ensuring you're not investing your time and emotions into someone who thinks pineapple belongs on pizza. We've got to have standards, people!
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Hey, everybody! So, I recently learned that the word "stalk" can mean a lot of things. You've got your celery stalk, your corn stalk, and then, of course, there's the classic... stalker. Yeah, the human kind. Now, I'm not talking about the creepy, hiding-in-the-bushes kind of stalker. I'm talking about the accidental, everyday stalker. You know, when you meet someone new and you're trying to be friendly, so you decide to check out their social media profiles? Come on, we've all been there. You start scrolling through their vacation photos, their family gatherings, and suddenly, you're three years deep into their Instagram, and you accidentally double-tap a photo from 2017! Now, that's a different kind of heart attack, right there.
But seriously, why do we do this to ourselves? It's like we're trying to become private investigators without the license. "Oh, you like hiking? I like hiking too! And I also know you went hiking last Sunday because, you know, I saw it on your story." It's all innocent until you accidentally mention their dog's name, and they're like, "How did you know that?" Awkward!
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So, I've got this ghostwriter, right? And they gave me this note about "stalk." Now, at first, I thought they meant the kind of stalk you find in a garden or something. But no, they meant the social media stalking. And it got me thinking, imagine having a ghostwriter for your own life. Like, you hire someone to write your tweets, your texts, even your apologies. You send them a message like, "Hey, I had a great time last night," and they reply with a perfectly crafted, emotionally resonant response. It's like having a personal PR agent for your relationships. But here's the catch – what if they decide to ghost you, the ghostwriter becomes the ghost?
You're sitting there waiting for a witty comeback, and nothing. No response. You start panicking, thinking, "Did my ghostwriter find a better client? Did they get a book deal and forget about me?" Now, that's a new level of rejection. You're not just ghosted by a person; you're ghosted by your own wordsmith! Talk about poetic injustice.
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