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Do you ever feel like a detective when you're stalking someone online? "Ah, I see they went to Hawaii last summer. Excellent choice of filter on that sunset photo, my friend.
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The real talent is when you accidentally like a post while stalking and then have to act like it was intentional. "Oh, I meant to like that picture of your cat wearing sunglasses. Very sophisticated feline.
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Social media has turned us all into digital ninjas, silently navigating through profiles without leaving a trace. If stalking were an Olympic sport, we'd all have gold medals by now.
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Stalking on social media is like watching a movie but with the power to pause, rewind, and zoom in. "Oh, they were wearing that shirt on three different occasions? Clearly, it's their favorite.
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Social media stalking has become so sophisticated. Remember when you had to physically follow someone to stalk them? Now, you can do it from the comfort of your couch with a bag of chips. The evolution of laziness is truly remarkable.
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The moment you accidentally like someone's old post, your heart skips a beat. It's the digital equivalent of tripping over your own feet in public – embarrassing, awkward, and you just want to disappear.
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Stalking someone's social media is the only time you'll see someone go from "I'm so over them" to "They look happy without me, huh?" in a matter of minutes.
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Ever notice how you can go from stalking an ex to watching videos of baby animals within seconds? It's like your brain's defense mechanism kicking in, saying, "Abort mission! We need something cute to recover!
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It's funny how we call it "social media stalking" when, in reality, it's more like "social media strategic reconnaissance." It just sounds fancier.
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