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After surgery, they always say to take it easy and rest. But let's be honest, trying to relax when you're surrounded by beeping machines, fluorescent lights, and the occasional groan from the neighboring patient sounds more like a failed spa day than recovery.
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Why is it that when you have surgery, they always tell you not to eat or drink anything for hours before? Are they afraid you might snack on something during the operation? "Oops, I dropped my sandwich in there, sorry doc!
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Surgeons are like the unsung heroes of our time. They're the only ones who can go to a party, say they've been cutting people open all day, and not get weird looks. Meanwhile, if I mention a paper cut, suddenly I'm the center of attention.
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I've never understood why they call it an "operating theater." There's no drama, no orchestra playing, and definitely no applause. It's more like a silent performance with the occasional beep of a machine in the background.
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Surgeons must have the best poker faces. Imagine holding someone's heart in your hands – not the time for a nervous twitch or a sudden case of the giggles. They're like the ultimate game of Operation, but with real consequences.
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Hospitals always have the worst magazines in the waiting rooms. You're about to undergo a life-changing event, and your only reading options are a 2003 National Geographic and a pamphlet on foot fungus. Thanks for the riveting material.
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Have you ever noticed that the term "minor surgery" is used way too casually? Like, "Oh, it's just a minor surgery." Excuse me, Karen, but if someone is taking a scalpel to my body, there's nothing minor about that!
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Going to the hospital feels like checking into a bizarre hotel. You have a stranger in a white coat telling you to undress, giving you weird outfits, and then they charge you an arm and a leg. At least hotels provide room service.
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Surgeons must have nerves of steel. I get anxious just trying to cut a straight line with scissors. Imagine if my hands were holding a scalpel near someone's vital organs – it would be a disaster.
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