10 Someone Going Through Divorce Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jan 16 2025

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Divorce lawyers are like the referees of relationships. They come in, blow the whistle, and start throwing penalties for emotional misconduct. "Five yards for not taking out the trash, sir!
Divorce is like a roller coaster. You start off excited, thinking it'll be a thrilling ride, but halfway through, you're just screaming, "I want off! Someone, please, stop the emotional roller coaster!
Divorce is like a subscription service you forgot to cancel. It keeps billing you emotionally, and every month, you're like, "Why am I still paying for this drama?
Divorce parties are a thing now. Can you imagine? Celebrating the end of a marriage is like throwing a graduation party for failing a class. "Congratulations, you're officially single! Now let's eat cake and contemplate our life choices.
Going through a divorce is like a game of Monopoly. At first, you're excited to start, but halfway through, you're just praying someone lands on your "Get Out of Marriage Free" card.
Going through a divorce is a bit like playing chess. Each move is strategic, and you're constantly calculating the emotional cost of sacrificing that pawn or that favorite DVD collection.
Dating after a divorce is like learning to ride a bike again. You're a bit wobbly at first, and there's a chance you might fall, but eventually, you'll get the hang of it – hopefully without any training wheels this time.
You ever notice that going through a divorce is a bit like trying to unsubscribe from a spam email? No matter how hard you try, those emotional pop-ups just keep showing up when you least expect it.
Divorce court is like a reality show, but with more paperwork and fewer roses. Instead of a final rose, you get a final decree, and trust me, it's not as romantic.
You ever notice that dividing assets in a divorce feels a lot like splitting up a pair of conjoined twins? "Okay, you take the car, and I'll take the blender. Fair trade, right?

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