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Joke Types
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Why did the divorcee bring a ladder to court? He was hoping for a split decision!
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Why don't divorcées ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they've already lost half their stuff!
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Why did the divorcee start a gardening business? He wanted to make sure things were 'separated' properly!
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Why did the divorcee go to the art gallery? To find a frame that wasn't 'split' in the middle!
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Why did the divorced baker make croissants? He wanted to show that even things twisted and turned can still taste good!
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Why did the divorcee get a job as a tailor? He was good at 'cutting ties'!
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Why did the divorcee open a bakery? He knew how to handle 'separations' without falling apart!
Divorce Etiquette
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There should be a handbook for divorce etiquette. Like, how many times can you say, I'm sorry without actually being sorry? Or the art of the divorce party - balloons, confetti, and a pinata shaped like your ex! It's the celebration nobody really wants to attend.
The Divorce Upgrade
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Divorce is like trading in your old car for a new one. Suddenly, you’re shopping for a different model, hoping for fewer breakdowns, and praying it won’t end up costing you as much in the long run. The only difference? You can’t check the reviews before you commit!
Divorce Math
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Divorce math is a whole different ball game. You're suddenly calculating alimony, splitting assets, and trying to figure out who gets the dog. Forget algebra; this is the real test of mental arithmetic. I'm surprised they don’t give you a calculator with your divorce papers!
Divorce Haiku
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Divorce summed up in a haiku: Marriage falls apart, Lawyers dance with bank accounts, Love lost, bills to pay.
Divorce DIY
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DIY projects are trending, but have you tried the ultimate DIY? It’s called Divorce Yourself! Suddenly, you're the architect, builder, and demolition crew of your own life. Who knew adulthood came with this much construction work?
The Divorce Diet
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You know, I heard about this new diet plan - it’s called the Divorce Diet. Step one: get divorced. Step two: forget to eat for six months! It’s a guaranteed weight loss program. You’ll be shedding pounds and tears simultaneously!
Divorce Therapy
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They say divorce therapy helps. You sit there, spill your heart out, and all the therapist says is, That’ll be $200, please. They should give you a discount for talking about your ex; it’s like a loyalty program for heartbreak!
Divorce Resolutions
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People make New Year's resolutions, right? Well, for divorces, it’s more like New Life resolutions. This year, I vow to find someone who doesn’t leave their socks all over the place! It's all about setting those achievable goals!
Divorce Court Dramas
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Ever been to divorce court? It's like a live soap opera, but the audience is miserable! You've got the judge playing the wise old sage, the lawyers in their fancy suits performing legal acrobatics, and the audience - that's us, sitting there, wondering if they'll give out popcorn during the intermissions!
Divorce Survivor's Club
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Joining the divorce survivor's club is like getting a badge of honor. Congratulations, you survived a marriage! Here's your complimentary box of tissues and a membership card to the 'I Don’t Want to Get Married Again' society! It's a support group where the only requirement is not wanting to repeat history!
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