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You guys ever think about Robert De Niro in everyday situations? Like, I imagine him ordering fast food. "Yeah, can I get a Big Mac? You talkin' to me, cashier? You must be, 'cause there's no one else here. Fries? Yeah, make 'em extra crispy, like my acting skills."
Can you imagine him at a drive-thru?
"You talkin' to me through this speaker? Well, I'm the only one in this car, so you must be. Yeah, I'll take a large Coke. You know, the way I like my roles – larger than life."
I bet he even gives intense looks to the automatic checkout machines at the grocery store.
"You scanin' my items? You better be. You wouldn't want to mess with me, bag of chips. You see this face? It's been in The Godfather. What have you been in, huh?"
Seems like everything's a movie scene for De Niro.
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I recently stumbled upon a self-help book apparently written by Robert De Niro. Can you imagine the advice he'd give? "Chapter 1: 'You talkin' to me, Inner Peace? Yeah, you better be. Find your center or find yourself in a mob movie without a happy ending.'"
He'd have a chapter on relationships, for sure.
"Chapter 2: 'Love is like a good script. If it doesn't grab you in the first five pages, throw it out. You talkin' about a happy ending? Make sure it's Oscar-worthy.'"
I'd buy that book just for the sheer wisdom.
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I heard Robert De Niro has some really unusual audition methods. Like, he doesn't just read lines; he brings his characters to life in unexpected ways. "So, De Niro walks into a romantic movie audition, and instead of just reading the lines, he goes, 'You talkin' to me, sweetheart?' That poor actress must have been terrified."
Can you imagine him auditioning for a comedy?
"He walks in, dead serious, and goes, 'Knock, knock.' The casting director is like, 'Uh, who's there?' De Niro replies, 'You wouldn't get it.' And walks out."
I bet even horror movie auditions get intense.
"For a horror role, he probably just stands in the corner and gives a menacing stare. No need for makeup or special effects. Just De Niro, being De Niro."
I'd pay to see those auditions.
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Have you noticed Robert De Niro's love for cameos? It's like he's on a mission to pop up in every movie possible. "You know your movie's made it when De Niro walks in, says two lines, and leaves. It's like he's the fairy godfather of Hollywood – granting films a blessing with his presence."
I bet he even makes surprise appearances in documentaries.
"You're watching a documentary about penguins, and suddenly De Niro shows up, 'You talkin' to me, penguin? Yeah, I know about the cold. I was in The Deer Hunter.'"
Imagine him in a romantic comedy.
"He just shows up at a wedding, gives a toast like, 'Love is a beautiful thing. You talkin' about love? Yeah, you are. Congratulations, you crazy kids.'"
De Niro, the ultimate party crasher.
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