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Joke Types
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What did the pushup say to the lazy person? 'I've got your back... if you do me!
Pushup Psychologist
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Doing pushups is like therapy for my body. Each one is a small session where my muscles scream out their issues. Right bicep will be like, I feel neglected! And left calf will chime in with, Why don't you ever focus on me? It's like a dysfunctional family reunion every time I hit the floor.
Pushup Rebellion
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My body has formed a rebellion against pushups. It's like a tiny mutiny happening on my living room floor. My arms are on strike, and my abs are staging a protest. I can hear my muscles chanting, What do we want? Couch potato status! When do we want it? Now!
Pushup PTSD
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Do pushups ever give you PTSD from high school gym class? I mean, I remember the teacher yelling, Drop and give me twenty! And I'd be thinking, Can I just give you five and a heartfelt apology instead?
Pushup Paranoia
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You ever notice how pushups are like that one friend who always gives unsolicited advice? I mean, every time I attempt a pushup, it's like my body is screaming, Are you sure about this? Remember last time? We were sore for a week!
Pushup Procrastination
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I have a unique approach to pushups. I call it the procrastination plank. I get in the position, start counting, and then suddenly remember all the important things I need to do. Before you know it, I've held a plank for ten minutes while mentally drafting my grocery list.
Pushup Pictionary
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Trying to do pushups after a long break is like playing a game of fitness Pictionary. My body is attempting to draw the concept of strength, but it ends up looking more like a confused stick figure attempting yoga.
Pushup Pretzel
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I tried doing pushups the other day, and I ended up looking like a human pretzel. I'm pretty sure my body was confused, thinking, Wait, are we exercising or auditioning for Cirque du Soleil?
Pushup Pancakes
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My pushup technique is so unique; it's like I'm making human pancakes. I go down flat and rise up fluffy. I'm just waiting for someone to come into the room and ask, Are you working out, or are you making breakfast?
Pushup Politics
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Pushups have a way of revealing your inner political stance. You know you're in trouble when your right arm starts lobbying for fewer reps, and your left arm demands equality in exertion. It's a bipartisan workout, but I'm just trying not to filibuster my fitness routine.
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