bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know, folks, the other day someone stole my heart. Yeah, I didn't think that was possible either. I mean, I've heard of stealing someone's thunder, but stealing a vital organ? That's next level! I was at this party, minding my own business, when suddenly I felt a void. Checked my pockets, my phone, my dignity—all still there. But my heart? Gone. I turned into a real-life Grinch, just missing a Santa suit.
Now, I'm not saying I'm desperate, but I've set up a reward. If you find my heart, there's a lifetime supply of dad jokes and bad puns waiting for you. But seriously, who steals a heart? I can just picture the thief realizing it's not the latest iPhone and frantically trying to return it.
0
0
Living in the city is tough, especially when you're trying to recover from heart theft. It's like, "Excuse me, I'm just trying to survive here, and you go stealing the very thing keeping me alive?" I've started wearing one of those "heart on my sleeve" t-shirts, but with a twist. It has a zipper, just to mess with potential thieves. "Good luck stealing it now, buddy! It's like trying to open a bag of chips without making noise in a quiet classroom."
And dating? It's a whole new level of paranoia. I go on a date, and instead of worrying about goodnight kisses, I'm checking my pulse to make sure my heart is still there. If it's missing by dessert, it's not a good sign.
0
0
So, after my heart got stolen, I decided to become a detective. Not just any detective—I'm now a Heartbreak Detective. Move over, Sherlock, there's a new sleuth in town, and he's armed with breakup songs and a magnifying glass that magnifies self-pity. I'm on the case, interrogating exes and tracking down love interests like a romantic bloodhound. I even have a theme song: "Heartbreak Detective, solving crimes of the heart, one sob story at a time."
Imagine being questioned about your whereabouts on Valentine's Day five years ago. "Sir, can you confirm your alibi for the night of February 14th? Were you really 'working late' or were you stealing hearts?
0
0
The holidays are around the corner, and I can't help but feel a little bitter. I mean, what's the point of mistletoe when your heart's been swiped? "Come stand under the mistletoe," they say. "It'll be romantic," they say. Well, not for me! I'm just standing there hoping no one steals my kidney. And don't get me started on Valentine's Day. I used to be a fan of chocolates and flowers. Now, I'm the guy in the corner with a sign that says, "Will trade bad jokes for a heart."
But hey, maybe this whole heart theft thing is a blessing in disguise. Now I have an excuse for not doing cardio. Doctor's orders: "Sorry, doc, can't risk losing another one.
Post a Comment