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Sandwiches are like the unsung heroes of meals. They're there, reliable, but then you think about it, and it's like, "Hey, why is the bread always so much better on the first bite than the last?" Conspiracy?
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Why is it that the minute you declare you're on a diet, every sandwich in the world suddenly looks like a five-star meal? Even the PB&J starts looking like a gourmet masterpiece.
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You ever try to eat a sandwich while driving? It's like a test from a survival reality show. Bread crumbs everywhere, and every red light becomes a strategic chewing point.
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Have you ever tried explaining to a kid that a hot dog is technically a sandwich? It's like telling them that the sky is green; they'll look at you like you've just betrayed their trust.
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You know you're an adult when your dream sandwich no longer consists of just ketchup and cheese. Suddenly, avocado and sprouts sneak their way in, and you're like, "Who am I?
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You ever notice how when you're making a sandwich, no matter how careful you are, one side always ends up with way more mayo than the other? It's like one slice is ready for a spa day while the other is ready for a slip 'n slide.
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You know what's wild? How a sandwich is never as good as when someone else makes it for you. My sandwich at home is just two pieces of bread glaring at each other, waiting for me to apologize for ruining their union.
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The worst part about making a sandwich is when the lettuce decides to play hide and seek. One minute it's there, and the next, it's disappeared faster than my motivation to cook.
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The art of making the perfect sandwich is a delicate balance. Too much mustard, and it's like a face-puckering contest. Too little, and you wonder if you're eating air with a side of bread. Ah, the mysteries of lunchtime.
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