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Why did the wise man turn down the Nobel Prize? He didn't believe in awards for being skeptical!
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Why did the pessimistic optimist become a paradox? Because every silver lining had a cloud!
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I'm on a strict diet: I only eat freezer burn. It's the coolest way to stay hot!
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Why did the computer apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to process 'cookies'!
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