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Let's talk about zombies for a moment. You know, the "living dead." Now, that's another classic oxymoron. How can you be both living and dead at the same time? It's like saying "jumbo shrimp" all over again. Are they alive, or are they dead? Make up your mind, zombies! I can't handle the contradiction. Imagine a zombie going to the doctor's office. "Doc, I've been feeling a bit alive lately, and it's really messing with my undead vibe.
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You ever notice how we have these things called "jumbo shrimp"? I mean, come on! That's like saying "gigantic ant" or "silent scream." It's an oxymoron right there. I'm picturing a shrimp with biceps, hitting the gym, trying to pump iron. But seriously, who came up with the idea of jumbo shrimp? It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted seafood or a side of irony. "I'll take the jumbo shrimp, please, and a side of conflicting word choices.
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Who here has tried virtual reality? It's like entering a whole new world without leaving your living room. But let's break down the name for a second—virtual reality. That's like saying "almost real." It's not quite real, just virtually real. It's the only place where you can climb Mount Everest in your pajamas. I put on those VR goggles, and suddenly, I'm in a virtual world where I'm an expert mountain climber and a superhero. But as soon as I take them off, reality hits, and I'm back to being an average person who can't find the TV remote.
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History buffs, anyone? How about the term "civil war"? It's like the least civil thing you can imagine. "Let's have a civil conversation. Oh, and by the way, let's shoot each other." It's the only war where they probably sent out invitations. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, you're cordially invited to the Civil War. Dress code: uniforms, of course." I can just imagine soldiers lining up, shaking hands before battle, saying, "Good luck, old chap. May the most civil side win.
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