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You ever notice how Mordor is like that one neighbor who never mows their lawn? I mean, talk about letting things go—eye of Sauron or not, get yourself a gardener!
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I bet the real estate market in Mordor is a nightmare. Can you imagine the listing? "Charming one-bedroom cave, scenic views of Mount Doom, occasional lava flow. Perfect for the young couple looking to start a family—or end a quest.
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Speaking of Mordor, you ever wonder if they have an HOA? Imagine the meetings! "Alright, who summoned the Balrog in the community pool again? And seriously, who's leaving their orcish weapons on the grass?
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You ever try to send a postcard from Mordor? "Wish you were here, but not really because it's, you know, Mordor. Love, your friend who's probably not coming back.
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I heard they have a tourist board in Mordor. I mean, who's signing up for that vacation package? "Come for the fiery skies, stay for the existential dread!" Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?
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Have you ever tried getting delivery in Mordor? Good luck! You'd think with all that fire and brimstone, they'd at least have a decent pizza joint. But no, the only thing arriving hot and fresh is Frodo.
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You know, Mordor's got to be the only place where you can't even trust the local real estate agents. "Oh, great views," they said. "Quiet neighborhood," they said. Yeah, if by quiet you mean eerily silent with a sprinkle of impending doom.
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And lastly, can we talk about the Mordor fashion? All black everything, I get it, but come on! Even the orcs are rocking it better than most of us. It's like the world's most intimidating dress code—dress to oppress!
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I swear, Mordor's gotta be where villains go for their retreats. Like, you've defeated the hero, now what? "Well, I've always wanted to see the scenic landscapes of Mordor. Pack my bags, we're going on vacation!
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