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Why did the tomato turn red during the company meeting? It saw the salad dressing's mission statement and got embarrassed!
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What do you call a mission statement that plays hide and seek? Elusive goals!
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What's a pirate's mission statement? 'Plunder today, worry about ethics tomorrow!
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Why did the bicycle apply for a job? It wanted to be part of a mission statement that had a good 'cycle' of success!
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Why did the computer go to therapy? It had a conflicted mission statement: 'I want to help, but I love viruses too!
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Why did the mission statement break up with the vision statement? They couldn't see eye to eye!
Mission: Awkward Handshakes
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The only mission I'm on is trying to perfect the art of the professional handshake. You know, the one that's not too firm to be aggressive but not too limp to be mistaken for a dead fish. Mission impossible? More like mission awkward.
Mission: Coffee Quest
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Every workplace has its own mission, and ours seems to be finding the mythical perfect cup of coffee. It's like searching for the Holy Grail, only with more bitter disappointment and fewer knights in shining armor.
Mission: Excel-sior!
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Companies love their fancy mission statements, but let's not forget the real mission: mastering the art of pretending to work while perfecting your spreadsheet Sudoku skills. Excel-sior, my friends, excel-sior!
Mission Improbable
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I tried writing my own mission statement, but it turns out Survive Monday without questioning my life choices wasn't visionary enough for my boss. I mean, come on, who needs a mission when you've mastered the art of looking busy while actually daydreaming about the weekend?
Mission: Inbox Infinity
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Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to reach the elusive Inbox Zero. But let's be honest, my inbox is more like a black hole where emails go to disappear. I've accepted the mission to ignore it and hope for the best.
Mission Control Freak
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Bosses love to talk about the company's mission like it's a sacred vow, but when they start micromanaging, it feels more like a mission impossible. I'm just waiting for the day they hand out spy gadgets at the water cooler and tell us our new mission involves infiltrating the break room fridge.
Mission: Impossible Workload
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Have you ever read a mission statement and thought, Is this a job or a secret society initiation? My mission is to decode cryptic emails and decipher whether the boss's smile is genuine or just a side effect of too much caffeine.
Mission Statement Madness
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You ever notice how every company has a mission statement? It's like they're trying to be profound while stuck in a corporate straitjacket. My mission statement is simple: avoid meetings at all costs and survive the office coffee that tastes like it's been filtered through someone's old gym sock.
Mission Statement vs. Reality
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Our mission statement says we're a team, but when the office fridge turns into a war zone over someone stealing sandwiches, I start to question the whole united we stand thing. I guess our real mission is to survive the communal fridge chaos.
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