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Why do companies even bother with mission statements? It's like they're trying to impress us with their eloquence while we're just here hoping the coffee machine works and the printer doesn't jam again.
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Companies love to use buzzwords in their mission statements. "Innovative solutions, cutting-edge technology, and groundbreaking strategies." It's like they're playing business buzzword bingo, and we're just waiting for someone to yell, "Bingo!
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I bet if we replaced every company's mission statement with "Don't mess it up," productivity would skyrocket. It's simple, concise, and leaves more time for actual work and less time for corporate poetry.
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I'm convinced that some companies just use a random mission statement generator. You know, like, "Our mission is to synergize dynamic paradigms and facilitate seamless solutions." Translation: We have no idea what we're doing, but it sounds fancy.
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You ever notice how every company has a "mission statement" these days? It's like they all gathered in a boardroom and thought, "Let's write a paragraph that sounds profound but doesn't actually say anything. Mission: Make our customers believe we're doing something important!
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I saw a job listing the other day, and the first thing it mentioned was the company's mission statement. I thought, "Great, but can you also include how many coffee breaks I get and whether the office has decent Wi-Fi? Because that's the real mission, folks!
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I started writing my own mission statement for life: "To find the perfect balance between adulting and pretending I know what I'm doing." So far, the struggle is real, but at least it's an honest mission!
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I read a company's mission statement that said, "We strive for excellence in everything we do." I thought, "Well, I strive for excellence too, but mostly in finding the TV remote without getting off the couch.
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My friend started a small business, and when I asked about their mission statement, they said, "Survive Monday to Friday, pay the bills, and maybe have lunch without spilling something on our shirts." Now that's a mission I can get behind!
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