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What did the kleptomaniac say when caught stealing a calendar? I can't help it, I just needed a few dates!
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I told my friend he had a problem with stealing kitchen utensils. He really needs to get to the ladle intervention!
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What's a kleptomaniac's favorite game? Monopoly, because it's all about taking properties!
Kleptomaniac Chronicles
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You know, I recently met someone who claimed to be a kleptomaniac. I thought, Great, now I have a friend who'll always keep an eye on my stuff... from a distance.
Klepto Support Group
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I heard there's a support group for kleptomaniacs. It's a small group, though – attendance is consistently low.
Klepto Job Interview
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Imagine going for a job interview and realizing the person who's interviewing you is a kleptomaniac. You leave the room, and suddenly your qualifications are missing.
Klepto the Magician
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I asked a kleptomaniac if he ever considered becoming a magician. He said, Why bother with tricks when you can make things disappear for real?
Klepto and the Snack Aisle
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I spotted a kleptomaniac in the supermarket. He was in the snack aisle, stuffing his pockets with chips. I thought, Well, at least he's got good taste... in theft.
Klepto Dating Woes
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Dating a kleptomaniac is like playing hide and seek, but instead of finding love, you're trying to locate your car keys and wallet.
Klepto's Superpower
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I think kleptomaniacs have a secret superpower – they can turn any situation into a 'whodunit' mystery. You never know when your pen or your dignity might go missing.
Klepto's Got Talent
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I heard kleptomaniacs make excellent contestants on talent shows. They're always stealing the spotlight!
Confessions of a Klepto
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I asked my kleptomaniac friend what it's like to live with his condition. He said, It has its ups and downs, but mostly, it's a grab-and-go kind of life.
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