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Kleptomaniacs are the real influencers of the thrift store world. "This vintage scarf? Oh, it just mysteriously appeared in my collection. You wouldn't believe the story behind it.
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I imagine kleptomaniacs must have a love-hate relationship with self-checkout machines. "Am I stealing or just having trouble scanning this avocado? The moral dilemma is real.
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You ever wonder if kleptomaniacs feel personally offended when they visit museums? "What do you mean I can't take home a piece of history? I promise I'll bring it back!
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I think kleptomaniacs missed their calling as personal shoppers. Imagine them walking up to you like, "You need this, and trust me, you'll thank me later. It just fell into my hands… literally.
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I bet kleptomaniacs make amazing detectives. "Yes, officer, I found the missing necklace. It was in my pocket all along. Case closed.
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You ever notice how kleptomaniacs must have the most interesting sock drawers? "Oh, look, a pen from that bank I visited three years ago and someone's grocery list – score!
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Kleptomaniacs probably make terrible secret agents. "Mission Impossible? More like Mission Inevitable – I couldn't resist swiping the enemy's pen.
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Kleptomaniacs must be great at surprise parties. "Oh, you got me a gift! How did you know I've always wanted a slightly used stapler and a half-empty hand sanitizer?
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I've realized kleptomaniacs are the true pioneers of the sharing economy. They're just borrowing stuff indefinitely, creating a whole new level of community spirit.
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