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Thought about putting my toddler in a card for Grandma's birthday. Turns out, they don't make cards with a "live surprise inside" section. Missed opportunity, Hallmark!
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Ever notice how kids in cards are like glitter? Once you open that card, they get everywhere, and you'll be finding them in strange places for weeks.
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Sent my son in a Valentine's Day card to my wife. She opened it and said, "I wanted chocolates, not a live reenactment of a diaper explosion.
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I tried putting my kid in a Mother's Day card. The only message inside said, "Congratulations! You've just received a lifetime supply of laundry and sleepless nights.
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I tried putting kids in cards, but apparently, the post office has weight limits. Who knew postage for a preschooler costs extra?
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Attempted to mail my niece in a get-well-soon card. They said it was "inhumane." I argued, "No, it's 'inchildrene.' Get it right, postal service!
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I tried the whole "kids to put in cards" thing, and now my refrigerator is covered in crayon drawings. I asked for a heartfelt note, not a mural of stick-figure superheroes!
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So, I attempted the kid-card technique. Sent my nephew in a birthday envelope. Now the postman gives me this look every time he sees me. I think I've made it onto the USPS watchlist.
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You ever tried putting kids in greeting cards? Yeah, apparently, it's frowned upon at the Hallmark store. I thought they said "for all occasions!
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